Raise Mine Ebenezer

On the road again

2011-06-29T07:12:00.001-05:00

Ok - check out this trip - I promise to actually update this time :)

www.iamontheroadagain.blogspot.com
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YeeHaw....

2011-06-18T01:16:00.000-05:00

Welcome to the LoneStar State!

Well, it's official. I am on my way to becoming a bona fide Texan. It's so strange for me to not only say that but really be in the process. I've had my car inspected - changed my insurance - gotten brand new tags - and the very next step is to get my license.

I've lived in lots of places - but this is the first time I've ever changed these all-important things over. I've signed the lease on an apartment with a friend of mine from my Sunday School class.

And in the next few weeks I'll be moving in - unpacking those boxes that have been packed and stored for months.

I anticipate that this is when I'll really be enacting the 2011 things gone in 2011.

Other changes and opportunities are on the horizon, but I'm looking forward to blogging on a semi-regular basis again. I've missed it. :)

2010-11-28T12:43:00.001-06:00

I haven't blogged in quite some time. I think the handful who used to read the jibberish I've written have probably given up all hope of me ever writing again. Ha!

But today I felt compelled to write. And it's not about camp callahan or my move to texas or my family, discfunctional though they are. Nope...today...this week...my heart has been heavy for a dear friend. He ended a ministry almost 2 weeks ago. A ministry that he poured all his heart, blood, sweat, tears and money into. I know he & the others prayed and prayed as to what God wanted from them, where He was leading them...and they just had a peace...it was time to end.

It's a devastating loss. But, I know that in time, they will heal...God will lead them through this time...He will show them what He wants for them...how He wants them to grow...and eventually, what He has for them.

I'm sad myself, even though I'm 12 hours away, I've been praying for the ministry - but I never really thought God would lead them to end it. I was so looking forward to visiting when I went home. But, as soon as I heard - I felt a great peace, inspite of the loss. I trust these leaders...I know their hearts are seeking after His will. And, while I mourn with over this loss, I'm truly encouraged by their obedience.

As if that were not enough to make you weep...my dear, sweet, friend, Rob lost his best friend this week. Chey was not just any dog...the two of them had an amazing bond. He was definitely one of the most precious dogs I'd ever met. When I heard that he had passed away, my heart broke. I can't imagine how Rob felt - except to remember how lost I felt when my dog, shadrach - who had been with me my whole life - died at 17. Something inside of me died that day. There is no perfect love other than that between an owner & their dog.

I have no idea what is ahead for my friend, but I know that God is walking with him through this time of pain. I hate to see my friends struggle or go through any pain - but mostly the emotional pain. It can't be seen & there is nothing a doctor or anyone else can do to fix it. I know in my life those are the times when I have grown the most. Joy eventually does come...through the mourning...

I just pray it comes swiftly for all my friends who are mourning now...whether it be the loss of a loved one, a job, a ministry, or anything/anyone of value. God knows your hurt & your heart. He has not left you.

Camp Callahan...

2010-07-25T16:09:00.000-05:00

Camp Callahan is only a week away! I just updated the blog we'll be using to post from during the two weeks we'll be gone. I thought about making it all about CC, but since I do love to travel, I figure it'll come in handy for whatever trips I take. I predict that more changes will happen before I'm completely satisfied with the layout but if you want to check it out you can go here.

Turns out that Spencer may be able to go with us...and for now I'm planning on it. YAY! He can be super funny and I've definitely missed hanging out with him.

In other news...had the interview with Norwegian and then two days later they said they're going in another direction. *sigh* Yes, I'm a bit frustrated. Good news though...they've finally extended the unemployment benefits and I believe I may be ok for a couple of months. I'll tell ya - I would much rather be working.

Alright...I'm outta here. I have a few things to do before small group tonight.

Things that go bump in the night...

2010-07-13T01:54:00.000-05:00

Recently, (the last couple of days) I've been having a terrible time sleeping. Moreso than usual. I'm up until all hours of the night and when I finally do fall asleep, the terror begins.

At first it was rather calm, the dream began with me visiting friends...staying at their house...and then a multitude of other guests piling in as well. (perhaps that's getting me ready for Camp Callahan which commences in just 2 and a half weeks). But then the dream shifted. I was at home, in my own bed, sleeping when all of a sudden, who should appear? Not jolly ol' St. Nick, that's for sure. My mother. Screaming and yelling at me about something I did or didn't do.

That part of the dream is really not that far-fetched. She has a key to my aunt's house (unfortunately) and she almost walked into the house when I was here by myself. And it certainly wouldn't be out of her character to yell at me and tell me how horrible I am.

So...as she was yelling and screaming...it was as if I were in a drug-induced sleep...I just couldn't wake up enough to respond to her...and I tried to get her to understand that whatever she was upset about was valid, but that I was in no shape to address it at that moment. Couldn't we deal with it in the morning...when I had gotten some sleep? She did not agree...and left almost as quickly as she arrived.

As if that weren't enough of a nightmare...it continued. Once I had finally drifted back to sleep (in my dream) I was woken by the sound of glass breaking. Me, thinking it was just my mother didn't worry about it...until 2 big, burly men bowled their way into my bedroom...and that's where the nightmare became absolutely horrid.

Suffice it to say that it was not pretty...and at the end...I had been violated...and then murdered.

I woke up with my purity and my life still intact, although I thought my heart might burst out of my chest it was beating so fast. A friend had sent me a facebook message, so I welcomed that distraction...and was definitely not in a hurry to drift back to sleep.

I did eventually go back to sleep...but it was fitful...and I woke up pretty consistently the rest of the night.

Now, I've had nightmares before, but never anything as graphic. And, generally, they're more along the lines of the preposterous, sci-fi nature. This entire dream sequence was completely plausible. And that made it all the more scary. But...Joy comes in the morning!

Until the next night.

The same dream...except it left out the unscary part, so the entire nightmare was torture.

2 nights in a row? The same dream? That rarely happens...and certainly not with something of this nature.

And the next night...the same story.

So...three nights...very little sleep...what in the world?

I was recounting the issue to my small group the next night. The questions flowed in...had I changed anything? No...I've lived alone before...for 2 years, and even this time, my aunt has been gone for a month already. It seems strange that I would start having nightmares now. Had I eaten anything strange? No...nothing out of the ordinary. What about caffeine? Same amount for the most part. And we joked about it...and then moved on.

That is until we started talking about my hair....my hair! That's it!

Seriously? I'm having nightmares b/c I chopped off my hair? Absolutely ridiculous, I mean, really...who does that? I guess I do. :( One of my friends pointed out that I've been insecure about my hair. And I agree with him, I have...but I never would have thought it would translate to being murdered. So bizarre.

So...that night...I made peace with my hair. I've decided that whether it was the best thing to do or not...whether I really like it or not...whether I miss my long hair terribly or not...I'm going to love it. And take some benedryl. ;)

I slept for 6 hours...and once I woke up...I went right back to sleep.

Ah...relief :)

Until tonight...when I realized that the front outside light has been turned on. And I don't remember doing it.

Sigh

Benedryl take me away...

Summertime...and the livin' is easy

2010-07-10T00:12:00.000-05:00

I've been spending a lot of time with the girls. As much as I can, anyway.

Yesterday was a girls day. I took Katie & Claire to the new pool again...and of course we all had a blast.

It was super HOT though...so even though I had settled in to read my book...it didn't last long. I was super thankful for the ability to take a quick dip in the pool to cool off. Claire is getting much better with the water that splashes in her face. That's another praise...I don't handle her whiney-ness as well as I probably should. They also had life jackets so we put one on her and it gave her the confidence to float around. :)

We went home, got showers, ate a bit and rested up for the real fun. :) Pensacola has these super cute events - Music in the Park. Downtown we have what used to be the central square - Seville Square and every Thursday during the summer they have bands play. People bring chairs, blankets, food, games, etc. and just hang out and listen to the music. Last night was Zydeco music and it really made me feel like I was back in New Orleans...sigh. Miss that place and those people. Mostly the people. Katie had a couple of friends down there and they hung out with us for a bit.

And then, the real adventure happened...Katie has been needing a book to read...so we headed over to B & N for a while. Claire was in heaven...but she also decided that she needed every book and toy in the place. She even put a book up on the check out counter (that she hadn't even looked at). Ha...that kid cracks me up. We stopped at Subway on the way home (they were already closed) so she could get a hug from her brother.

Let me just say...that while she does not like boys her age...b/c they are mean...she desperately clings to any men. It breaks my heart. And it reminds me even more how important it is for father's to really be a part of their children's lives...especially their daughters.

Katie and I are gearing up for Camp Callahan 2010. She didn't want to go with me last year, but having met most of the cousins...and seeing my pictures and hearing how much fun we all had last time...she's been chomping at the bit to go. She'll be missing the week of band camp which could mean she will be an alternate. That means she wouldn't have a spot in the marching show unless someone gets hurt/sick/drops out/moves. Not something she would want to do. But...she just may have finagled her way into being able to go. Yay! I know she's going to have a BLAST! We'll be gone for 2 weeks and wow...what fun! So...we have a couple of 12 hour drives ahead of us. I'm in the process of mapping it out...and finding some random things to do along the way...because I'm just a weirdo like that. :) She already thinks I'm a big dork so I might as well live up the expectation - ha! Plus, I'm really hoping it'll be a trip she remembers. I'm planning on breaking it up - I know we could make it in one day...but I'd rather not end up at either end completely exhausted. Been there...done that...not again...please. So - any of you Louisiana/Mississippi/Texas people...give me some hints on things to check out along the way. Cheap...silly...ridiculous.

And...I think we're going to make a travel blog. There will be about 18 of us...18 people...in one house! Can you just imagine the insanity??? There's me and Katie...my cousin, Michael with his four kids...my cousin, Coleen with her two kids...their stepbrother, Ron (whom I've never met) and his family and then there's the 2 girls from Long Island. 12 of those are kids - mostly teenagers. And the pranks have already been planned...I'll never get any sleep - ha!

We'll spend a week at their house in Frisco and then head down to Lake Travis for another week. I'm super thankful that I've already been spending time in the sun so I'll hopefully have a nice tan before we even get there. That should help prevent any burns. Now..if only I could do something about my scalp burning!

Speaking of my scalp...I chopped off my hair the other day. And I do mean...chop. I was going to get it trimmed before Texas, but started feeling like I needed a change. Where do you go from long? Super short! Ha. I had my friend, Erin come with me to take pictures...but mostly to just hold my hand. :) It hasn't been this short in about 6 years...and it's been the last 4 years or so that I've been trying to grow it out. But..it's only hair...it'll grow back. But oh wow...it's super, super short! But now it doesn't take me an hour to fix my hair which will be nice when sharing a house with 17 other people. :) I'm still not quite used to it...and I'm not really sure if I like it yet but I'm sure it'll be fine in a couple of days. I have to admit...I did cry a bit yesterday...and I miss being able to put it up in a bun.

Tuesday, I saw several of my friends off at the airport. They were headed to Togo, Africa for a two week mission trip. I seriously love these people and I miss them already. They are encouraging, challenging and just all around...men and women who are seeking the Lord in all that they do. I can't wait until they're back home...but I know they are where God has them and when they do return the Lord will have worked...in the lives of the Togolese people and in them. Will you join me in praying for them?

Our small group celebrated Independance Day together. We had a cookout and then we headed downtown to watch the fireworks. Some friends brought some games...and I brought Katie & Claire. (ha!) Claire is a formidable opponent...especially at horseshoes...really? We had a blast and everyone had a shock and awe kind of moment when Claire started running laps around everyone. No reason...she just felt the need to run. Hehe - that kind is weird - but I love her. With a million people downtown it took us forever to get home and thankfully she was in a good mood...and not whiney or cranky. We played 'I Spy' to which she cheats! I didn't think that was possible. ha! But she gave Katie and I a lot to laugh at...especially b/c she can't say the word 'something'. It comes out as 'sumplin'.

As for the important things...I keep applying at trivial, ridiculous jobs here. I supposed I could apply for beach cleanup...and if it comes down to it...I guess I will...but oh my word it's hot outside. Randomly, I applied for a position on Norwegian Cruise Lines...it could be a super fun gig...although I could be gone for 4 months to 10 months! Yikes! Still praying...I know God will take care...and I'm sure it will at just the right moment. :) In the meantime...I'm enjoying spending time with the girls and with my sweet friends.

On a political soapbox though...I'm appalled that our government is as ridiculous as it is. Unemployment has not been extended...and our illustrious, caring politicians have take a nice week and a half long break while hundreds of thousands of men and women across the country continue to lose their benefits...and thus lose their homes, food, etc. I am quite aware of the reasons for not increasing the national debt...but really...we are already trillions of dollars in debt...cutting off money to people...who will spend it b/c they have so little...will only create more debt...more people will be laid off. It's sad...and no...I don't know the answer...but Democrats and Republicans need to read the Declaration of Independance again...We the People....they must have forgotten that they too are the People. I'd gladly switch places with any one of them for a week...let them see what renting a room in your aunts house with all of your stuff in storage feels like. And I am blessed...far beyond what I deserve...I can't imagine those who have families...it breaks my heart. And I definitely do not want to see this problem grow. Praying God intervenes soon for all of us.

Ok...off the soapbox. :)

Plans for the weekend are pretty laid back. Last week I was going, going, going. Tonight is Gallery Night downtown and Katie wants to go. I'm ok with that, b/c I enjoy it. I love the fact that she's starting to like these kind of things. It makes hanging out much more fun. :)

Frustrated

2010-03-04T17:27:00.003-06:00

Ok - so while I'm listening - that requires me being patient, and I'm not a patient person. And lack of patience leads to....frustration.

So - that's where I am. Frustrated.

School? Move? Stay? Job? Job? Job? Job? Ministry? In Debt? School? Move? Stay? In Debt? Bank Account? Car? School? Job? Ministry? In Debt? Move? School? Stay? In Debt? Loans?

Do you get the idea?

Ugh.

There just isn't a clear path and I have no idea how to get 'there'. Wherever 'there' is.

I'm Listening

2010-02-25T00:59:00.002-06:00

Life has been a strange composit of roller coasters as of late. Ah - who am I kidding - it's been a roller coaster all of my life. If it's not one thing - it's another. I've been silent - mostly because I haven't been in the mood to write. I've sat down several times - but just can't put words to paper (or rather, computer).

I found out Sunday afternoon that I didn't get the job in South Carolina. This is causing me to have a zillion and one questions - but that's the one thing that I know. I still don't have a job. I have no idea where to look for a job anymore - and I have no idea how on earth I will get out of this limbo.

But - life goes on. In other news - I've been observing Lent this year. There's a whole lot of reasons, scruptire to support, and even info that at some point I'll put all down on paper - but that will have to wait until later. For now - suffice it to say - that I've given up Facebook in observance of Lent. And let me tell you - it's a lot harder than it looks. Mostly b/c it's so accessible - computer and phone - but everytime I go to log in - for just a smidge - I'm reminded that Jesus was crucified - can't I refrain from facebook - he refrained from jumping down off the cross. It's been a bit of a whirlwind - and has been blowing my mind.

My friend, Travis, sent me what his church is following during this season and it's been challenging. Mostly because I'm adding it to what I already am doing. How sad that it seems like a chore! What is with me! And since Facebook is all about communicating - I've been using the extra time I'd normally be on it to write letters and cards to friends and family. It's funny - I used to love sending those out - and now I just say - oh - I'll comment on their facebook wall instead.

And - something to give everyone a laugh - hopefully :)

Last night was Worship on Tuesday and it was my turn to run the power point, which I love to do. Well, practice ran a little longer and there really wasn't time for me to run to the bathroom before we started - so - I waited. And then, when Craig began to speak I knew that I needed to go. :) So - thankfully there wasn't anything I needed to do and it was the perfect time to run out - even if I did have to miss part of the message.

FYI - his message was on worry - and he was talking about a time in his life when he was unemployed for about 5 months and how we're not supposed to worry...(something I definitely need to be reminded of especially in this time of my life).

Well - when I went to the bathroom - I noticed that I had a big hole in the back of my jeans. On the butt. It's not like it wasn't noticeable. (Did people notice and no one tell me!!!!) So - there wasn't anything I could do about it - so I just pulled my shirt down and prayed it would stay.

As I walked back into the service - Craig was saying specifically how God has told us not to worry about money or food or what we wear - and interestingly enough - he specifically said - not to worry about our pants. Well - all I could think (and thankfully only said this to myself in my head) was - there's a big hole in my jeans - and I'm walking around all these people!

Shortly after that second - God hit me upside the head and told me not to worry about it. And then of course my mind went on to think and wonder about how I was going to replace a pair of jeans - and what would I wear instead, etc. And again - God told me not to worry about it.

When I got home and checked my bank account - guess what I found? My state tax refund had already been deposited! That was confirmation enough for me - God continues to tell me not to worry.

Kind of a funny story - and maybe only to me - but it got God's point across.

And then today - as I was driving and thinking to myself that I really just wish I knew what I was supposed to do. Do I continue looking for jobs here? Do I look in places I've lived before? Do I keep looking in NC/SC? And what kind of jobs do I look for? What about my mom and my sister and my nieces and nephews? All of these thoughts and concerns were running through my head and I had to stop to fill my car up for gas. And I just happened to look up and someone had put a tiny, cut out verse - it's from the New Living Translation - and seriously - was exactly what I needed to hear.

"If you will listen, I will show you. I will answer you from my own experience. And it is confirmed by the reports of wise men who have heard the same thing from their fathers - from those to whom the land was given long before any foreigners arrived." ~ Job 15:17-19

Now let's talk about reality. It was in the strangest spot on the gas pump. And I rarely look up that high - and it was just typed up on a little piece of paper - half the size of an index card. What are the chances that I would see that?

And I'm just baffled. I always joke that God has to send me a neon sign to tell me what's going on - but I rarely see one. :) And then there it was - plain as day. Maybe it was just coincidence - but I don't believe in coincidence. I'm just beyond blessed and humbled - that my God who created the world, every person and is dealing with major issues like global warming (hehe) and the state of our country...would take the time to let me know that if I'll just be patient and listen - He's going to show me.

Sigh...

2010-02-11T10:50:00.003-06:00

So, I'm still waiting...

I called yesterday afternoon. They've narrowed it down to 3 people. I'm one of those 3 people. YAY! She said they were having to go through corporate for some things that they hadn't expected to. I talked to her at about 2:30 yesterday...she was expecting to have had an answer by noon. Sigh.

Today I checked out the website...the job posting has been removed.

And no phone call.

Oh the suspense might just kill me.

It's noon now...

Oh, I hope you guys are praying for me. 'Cause I just might go out of my mind.

By the way - looking for a job is not the most fun I've ever had.

=)

On a completely different note, I was able to hang out with my friend, Joe, last night. Good times. We ate dinner and then walked around B&N. Super exciting, but it's kinda hard to do things when you don't really know the area.

Although - we went to this place called, Birkdale. Super Cute! Shops all very well designed and then they have apartments upstairs. If it were warmer, it would have been nice to walk around...but it's soo cold and windy! haha

Snow is in the forecast for pcola tomorrow and it's in the forecast for Greenville tomorrow night, and for here on Saturday! haha I might just miss it all!

=)

Anyway - gotta run. My little cousin will be home from preschool soon and then we must hang out and play! That's the not so bad thing about being unemployed!

Waiting...

2010-02-09T23:12:00.002-06:00

Patiently? Sorta. I'm waiting to hear back about the interview. They said they planned to have an offer in front of someone at the beginning of this week...it's Tuesday!

Don't they know what torture this is for me?

Rejection comes often...but it's so much worse when it's delayed!

In the meantime, I spent the weekend with my friend Jodi and exploring the town. It rained most of the weekend so we only really spent time outside on Saturday night and Sunday afternoon.

Sunday evening, I headed to my cousins just in time to see the 'game' of the century and spend some quality time with them.

And today I was able to catch up with my friend, Amy from seminary. Since I left she's gotten married, moved and had two beautiful little girls. We had a great afternoon catching up. :)

Tomorrow will be my last day here and I'm planning on meeting up with my friend, Joe for dinner. Thursday will be time to hit the road! :) Depending on what I hear or don't hear back about the job, I might stop back in and then I'm planning on making a tiny detour to Columbus. It'll be great to see all my old co-workers and catch up for a bit. And it makes for a great stopping place on the long journey home from here.

So...I'm waiting...and trying desperately to be patient. And to prepare myself if God does not have this in my plan. I wish I hadn't gotten so attached to the area.

In other news - I went to a very large church on Sunday. It has several campuses and they broadcast the pastor from the main campus to each one. But this week, they had a special guest - Christine - (I don't remember her last name) from the Hillsongs Church in Australia!

She had a great message about the church - and how we get so busy 'doing' church that we forget to 'be' the church. But while that sounds so broad and we can say - well - it's not me 'doing' - she really made it personal - down to each one of us - because after all - we are all a part of the church. Kinda wish I were going to be there next week to hear her again.

But oh well - it'll be nice to be back in pcola again and see the rest of my crazy family, check on my aunt who's been ill with pneumonia and pleurisy and catch up with my friends. If I do move - it'll be quick - and it'll be sad to leave them all.

Getting Excited

2010-02-02T15:21:00.002-06:00

So - I'm really starting to get excited.

#1 - a road trip! I love road trips. This would be so much better if I had someone to ride with me - but that's ok -I'll make it. Besides - I get to see my friend Jodi and one of my cousins. I'm hoping to even get to see a couple of other friends on the way. :)

#2 - the new possibilities. Just found out that one of my other cousins used to live there. He said it was great - he said he even had to join a church just so that he could date girls. haha - it's really funny if you know him.

#3 - The same cousin is getting married on Long Island next week. So...I'm thinking about making the extra drive. It's only another 12 hours...haha. We'll see.

#4 - Excited about other things going on - God is working on me - sifting me - getting the junk out. It certainly isn't pretty, and I don't feel great about myself but I know once I deal with that junk and move forward God will be glorified.

So - I'm trying to pack - for 2 weeks - of cold weather! It's a good thing I'm driving 'cause if I were flying I'd have too much luggage to bring. :)

FYI - Interview is Thursday at 2:00 - if this isn't what God has for me - please pray that the door shuts in my face. If it is - please pray the way is smooth.

Doors Open and Close

2010-01-30T15:01:00.003-06:00

Last night, one of the churches had a night of worship - focused on discipleship. I knew several of the people leading worship and I knew many of my friends were going and I had been planning for a few weeks to go.

Then the rains came. My friends a little further north were threatened with being snowed in - and we got the rain. Lots and lots of rain. Flooding rain. Galoshes-needing rain. (why haven't I bought a pair this year? I could certainly have used them!)

Anyway - combine all of that rain with my feelings of limbo and discouragement. I really wasn't in the mood to go. I'd much rather go to B & N and find a good book and some coffee and settle down in a corner somewhere.

But, I knew better. So - even though I went a bit late - I went. I sat near some friends, but was still by myself. Which was awkward at first - but later - exactly what I needed.

There was nothing overly spectacular about the night. No camp-high. But just a sweet time of worship and focusing on the Lord and what He has called us to do. I didn't get a special word or direction - except to keep going forward and seeking His face.

On my way to a friend's house, I heard this song - which I love - it's been an encouragement to me over the last few weeks.

I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn't there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That you would take away my pain
You would take away my pain

I am trying to understand
How to walk this weary land
Make straight the paths that crooked lie
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine

When my world is shaking, heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave your hands

When you walked upon the earth
You healed the broken, lost and hurt
I know you hate to see me cry
One day you will set all things right
Yeah, one day you will set all things right

When my world is shaking, heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave your hands

Your hands that shaped the world
Are holding me
They hold me still

So, I posted on facebook that I loved it. A friend of mine commented for me to check out another of her songs. One I hadn't heard. And boy - it hit me deep.

Scenes of you come rushing through
You are breaking me down
So break me into pieces
That will grow into the ground
I know that I deserve to die
For the murder in my heart
So be gentle with me Jesus
As you tear me apart

Please kill the liar
Kill the thief in me
You know that I am tired of their cruelty
Breathe into my spirit
Breathe into my veins
Until only love remains

You burn away the ropes that bind
And hold me to the earth
The fire only leaves behind whatever is of worth
I begin to see reality
For the first time in my life
I know that I'm a shadow
But I'm dancing in your light

Teach me to be humble
Call me from the grave
Show me how to walk with you upon the waves
Breathe into my spirit
Breathe into my veins

Until only love remains

The first song is where I am right now. There is trouble I wish I didn't have. There's pain I wish He would take away and yes, I've prayed a thousand ways. But through it all, I do know that I am in His Hands. But, I wish I could get from here to the point where I do cry out the second song. That all that is wrong in me He would burn away and that I could walk upon the waves with Him.

Such is the constant struggle.

Needless to say - it was a good night, but a rough night still. I was still discouraged.

Joshua 1:9 tells us - Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

But I'll tell you - it's so easy to not be discouraged - until you are discouraged. And then you have to really fight. You have to claim His word and His promises for your life. And it is a struggle - but you are in His Hands the whole way.

So - how does that apply to my life? I mean it's all good to talk about and philosophize about, but how does it look and how do I move forward. I mean - I'm in limbo over here.

Well, a while back, a job opened up. It wasn't one I was looking for - and definitely not in a place I was looking to go to. So, I put it on the back burner. I've focused on my family and our dysfunction and finding a job here in town. Well, the one job I interviewed for doesn't look like it's going to turn out. And, there really aren't a lot of other opportunities here, but I keep looking and applying for whatever I can. (praise the Lord for unemployment benefits!)

Anyway - I kept coming back to this other job. I still wasn't 100% that I'm supposed to move again...(I mean really, it's not like I'm going for a record # of moves in a life) but I also know that God would have a hard time working if I didn't apply. So, I revamped my resume at the suggestion of a colleague and sent it off yesterday afternoon. Praying the whole time that God would either shut the doors hard and fast or open them wide.

Then you have all that happened last night - and today - I received an email. From the job. I thought for sure it was that door slamming in my face. But it wasn't. They want me to come in for an interview next week.

Say What?!?!

So, now what?

Well, I guess I go. I have nothing to lose, right? They've asked me to come next Wednesday or Thursday - and since I have friends in the area - I'm going to try to make it a little mini vacation too.

So - if you could pray. For clarity, God's provision, God's will and mostly that the doors will either open wide or shut tight. :) Aside from that - it doesn't really matter.

Limbo

2010-01-29T01:45:00.003-06:00

ok - so this is starting to get old. And frustrating. And exhausting.

I know - who would ever think that looking for a job would be exhausting.

I don't really think the museum job will come through. It got really weird the last time I talked to them and haven't heard anything since...

But there aren't any other real options.

At least...not here.

I think I should be the poster child that parents can use when their kids want to take a break from school. Well meaning and God-directed though it may be...it really does suck.

Can I just encourage any person who's at that critical time - DON'T STOP GOING TO SCHOOL!!!!!

And if you don't know what you want to be when you grow up - go to nursing school. They always need nurses. And, if you don't mind possibly moving from where you are - get your degree in education. They always need teachers...somewhere...

In the meantime...I'm in Limbo. I'm renting a room from my aunt. I'm packing my things to go into storage. And i'm plain bored out of my mind.

My body is starting to feel it too. And that's when I know trouble is brewing. It doesn't help that I'm up until 2 or 3 most nights...but I just have absolutely no energy.

*sigh*

Inspite of my limbo feeling - I know God is working. The Word has become so much more important to me lately. Sadly I can't really explain or describe it. Except to say...it's so comforting and challenging some days. To know that David, Peter, Paul, Sarah, etc. were people that God thought enough about to share their stories with us - and yet - look at how they all screwed up? I've never cut someone's ear off in haste - but I've done a lot of other things our of passion that was un-tamed.

That's all for now. And really not much at that, but I figured since it had been so long since my last post - I was over-due. So much for consistency. =)

January 8th

2010-01-08T11:38:00.000-06:00

Wow - I'm getting pretty consistent - I think the pictures have definitely helped - what do you think? Is it helping? Are you ok with it? My friend, Chris, has a much better idea - he's doing a whole year of photos - one for each day and of course he's being all creative with it. I'm just trying to get myself to be consistent and spend time looking for roses each day. Or at least a picture =)

We had a seven22 activity tonight - although - we're not sure who planned it - haha. All we were told is to meet at Panera and then we'd all head to a hockey game. Well - we met all strolled into Panera at different times - some were extremely on time and others of us...(like me) were a little more liberal with the time. The sad part is that b/c no one was in charge - some people met up there and didn't know other people so they thought they were the only ones. If I had known that I would have made more of an effort to be on-time. I definitely don't know everyone, but I tend to recognize faces. Oh well - those of us that met then tried to carpool - we lost a couple in transition from point a to b. :( another sad fact of not having everyone's contact info. But, I did make some new friends and get to know some other people a little better. It always amazes me at how different we are - but how we can come together and agree on the Lord. A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.

But - those of us that did somehow stick together had a grand time. A good fight broke out in the 2nd period - 3 people total were ejected - n.i.c.e. Now, let's take a closer look at our Pensacola Flyer player...

Oh yes...he definitely lost his jersey in that fight. And shortly after they went into the penalty box - they ejected him. Sad...I was kinda hoping for another good fight. =)

January 7th

2010-01-07T13:46:00.003-06:00

Wow - a week into 2010 and it's already blowing my mind. A great deal of changes are happening - beginning with a move. Yes - this makes 10 moves in my adult life. (not counting changing dorms in college)

My mom is continuing to make some interesting choices and I hate to watch her. But, it's her life and at some point you have to just let her be. So - she asked me to move out - I'm currently staying in my aunt (mom's sister's) spare bedroom. So far it's been working out ok - although she's pretty adament about my eating when/what she thinks I should. Ah...the price we pay for family. :) Life I said - it's working out for now.

However, my stuff has to be out of mom's house by the end of this month. I might have a tiny bit of room on either side - but I'm not sure. I'm not planning on staying at my aunt's house for a long period of time. She wants to rent it out - which I am paying her some rent - but with it only being a small room - I'll have to put almost everything of mine into storage again...and I really don't want to go that route. Not to mention - I think I'd really like to have my own place, plus it's on the very far end of town and takes me forever to get anywhere.

I am contemplating moving into my grandmother's house. It's on the west side - but pretty close to escambia. It'll come in handy when doing stuff for Katie - or Claire. But, my dad hasn't done anything with the inside - hasn't gone through my grandmother's things, sold anything, boxed anything, fixed the sink...etc. There's some minor things that need to happen - mostly new carpet - but he's being a little weird...and it's like pulling teeth for him to get started on some things. So...I may just not go that route either...

So...onto my other options...looking for a place to rent on my own - apartment, small house, etc. Or finding someone who needs a roommate but will let me bring all my junk too. Ah...such is life. Or at least mine.

One thing that is a paramount to all of this is a new job. I've been applying at different places since before Christmas and I finally went on an interview yesterday. It seemed to go really well and might be a great fit for me. So - I'm continuing to pray about it - and we'll see what happens. In the meantime...still applying at other places. That's going to have a big impact on what I do or don't do as far as moving.

Tonight we're headed to literally finish the VERY.LAST.THINGS. at the HMO house. I have to run by my mom's to pick up my paint clothes and then we'll hopefully get it all knocked out pretty quickly. YAY!!!! It'll be nice to put the final closure on it.

As if all that wasn't enough - God's been working on me the last few months. I'm not quite sure what He's getting me ready for - but goodness - it's been a little crazy. He's stretching me - on that whole difference between what we say we believe and what we do. Meaning - I say believe in God - but do my actions really, REALLY show that? I say I want people to know the Lord - but is that what I'm doing? There are things that I've noticed in other people that make me sad for them - and then God shows me that I'm the same - or have been the same. It's made me grow in my compassion and it's made me very introspective - which at times is a little bit of a bummer.

Another repetitive idea that He keeps showing me is how important it is to spend time in the Word. That's not news to me - and it's not that I don't - but the various ways that it is important and instrumental in my faith just astounds me. And I wonder...how can I spend more time in it? We had a bible study about it, the message this past week touched on it, I had a conversation with my aunt who said she doesn't need to read the bible to understand God, there was a thread on facebook about it, on and on...all reminding me to get in the Word more.

I've been praying about a bible study - for women. Not quite sure yet - it's just something that's been on my heart - and I'm just praying about it.

God is stretching me in so many ways. Preparing me for something and through all of it - I am reminded of His faithfulness, His love, His encouragement, His Word, His promises, and just the ability to rest in Him through anything. I am blessed.

January 6th

2010-01-06T23:19:00.003-06:00

Today was a fantastic day! Although I didn't get too terribly much accomplished. I had an interview...and I'm just continuing to pray.

However - today is my very dear, precious friend, Michelle's birthday. I'm sad that I'm not able to celebrate with her - but here's a pic from last year at New Year's. I am so unbelievably thankful for her continued friendship. I am a different person because of her friendship.

Happy Birthday, sweet Michelle!

January 5th

2010-01-05T23:15:00.000-06:00

We got in from Nashville around 8:00ish and I stopped by 20/20's bible study - and since I ended up staying out later than I expected, I decided I would stay at my sister's instead of waking up my aunt by coming in at 11:30 at night.

Not surprising...Claire woke up while I was playing Blink and Apples to Apples with Spencer, Katie and Wendy. So - she and I got some good cuddle time in. I seriously love that kid! She just warms my heart. How I wish she would always keep that sweetness about her.

It's a pretty dark and grainy picture - my phone usually takes much better pictures than this.

January 4th

2010-01-04T23:10:00.000-06:00

Erin and I made a quick stop in Birmingham - actually - it's Pelham - and right near the amphitheater. Ah...good times...and I actually do miss that job. But - watching where life has taken me since - I have no regrets. God has been good and faithful and I have grown so much. So - anyway - this is me - waiting on Erin. =)

January 3rd

2010-01-03T23:07:00.000-06:00

This is definitely one of my favorite roads...it's on the way to Crazy Amy's house and I always feel as if I'm in another time period. Terah and Amy say they feel as if they're in Avonlea - and that's just about the right feeling. :)

January 2nd

2010-01-02T20:21:00.002-06:00

My camera takes pretty decent pictures. I took this one today - it's of Belle Meade Mansion in Nashville - we took a tour and had a very lovely day. Amazing to see so much history.

2010-01-02T01:00:00.000-06:00

This is my hope for 2010 - in an effort to be consistent I'll try to post a picture a day. There will be no rhyme or reason - so, don't expect one.

This is the fam - the ones that speak to each other in pcola. =)

Christmas Chaos

2009-12-30T02:00:00.002-06:00

It's been a rough few weeks. Not entirely - but I guess they really should be. Once the chaos of gift wrap died down - I actually felt pretty relaxed. Of course I'm concerned about all of our financial situations - and Christmas was a little rough on everyone emotionally - but I honestly have a peace about it.

The same goes for my mom...sort of...

Sunday morning I woke up late (Surprise, surprise!) I discovered that there were items that had been placed in my room that I originally had in the kitchen or the dining room...it freaked me out just a little. Then I saw the dishes I had left from making something with Katie the night before had 'magically' been started on - as well as the dishwasher with the clean dishes I had washed sitting open.

Yeah...I kinda knew what was coming...wasn't sure what had set her off...but I knew.

I called my sister - she had just gotten off the phone with my mom...she said mom was asking me to leave today. (ok...I wasn't quite expecting that...) So - I got up - cried a little - and started packing. It took me a few hours - getting clothes and important things together...bathroom stuff, kitchen stuff....finish cleaning up the kitchen. Went downstairs to get some of my dirty laundry that I'd need in the future (my mom was out!)

So - I packed up the car - and was pretty much all done. Then I went downstairs to see my mom...the dogs were barking, and I tried waking her up...but she wouldn't budge. I could tell she was breathing - but just sleeping really heavy. So - I wrote her a note - and left.

Geez.

Later that day she freaked out - called my sister and yelled at her some more - was mad b/c I hadn't left my keys...and that she was going to have to spend the $$ to get the locks changed...etc. (Some days she is way more irrational than others...)

So - I called her - told her I wasn't mad or angry. That I've always had a key to the house - even when I moved to New Orleans, when I moved out after that - etc. There's not need for her to freak out and be paranoid that I was going to do something.

(trust me - if I was going to do something to the woman - I'd have done it years ago!)

She calmed down a bit. Said I had until the end of January to get my stuff out...etc. She just can't live with someone that is so like my father.

Now - here is where the real irrational behavior comes in - she expected me to live upstairs - on my own - separate - but still come down and check in with her every day. (she changed the rules of the game) She also expected me to pay rent...now...here's the thing about that. She has been telling me that I will need to help with the rent after January - when the divorce is final. So...why would I be paying her anything now???? Not to mention - I've been paying her cell phone bill since October...and my sister's since May or June...

And she was mad that I hadn't finished cleaning up my chaos from home make over, gift wrap, christmas, life in general...

And she was mad that I didn't call her on christmas. Ok - yes - I should have called - but here's the thing. I kept expecting her to show up - even asked my sister and she confirmed that yes, she was coming. If she'd said no - then I would have called her. Add into that my completely comatose naps...and I was a bit disoriented. But what the heck is wrong with her picking up a phone?

We discussed it today - I told her - ok...you tell me you're not mentally ill, you're not depressed, you're not senile and you're not old. Well - that means you are a fully functioning adult - so put your big girl pants on and be an adult.

Yes - it's a little harsh - but for a woman who doesn't want to be labeled as needing extra attention and guidance - she still wants the extra attention.

I soooo wish she'd make up her mind. :)

Anyway - in the meantime I'm staying at my aunt's house. She's actually out of town, but will be back soon. I'm semi renting a room. There's already a bed and etc...in the bedroom so there's only enough room for my clothes and a few essentials.

In the meantime...what do I do?

Well - I called my dad today. He's sorta living at my grandmother's house (the one in assisted living) but the house is really not in liveable condition. So - I told him I would like to live there (eventually, after I have a job) take over the payments (which are pretty cheap) and maybe in the future buy it so he doesn't have to worry about it.

He's not convinced yet.

But I told him to meet me there on Monday - there's a lot of work to do before ANYONE can buy the place. It's gross - carpet needs to come out - bathroom needs to be redone - some of the pipes need to be redone, etc. Ugh.

On one hand...I'm so thankful that I just went through this whole HMO renovation. We did a lot - and I know that with a little elbow grease and some ingenuity, he and I can get the place cleaned up - and liveable.

So....that's where things stand for now. I have no idea if that will work out or not. But I'm praying. And I have a general peace about everything. No specific direction - but peace.

Job wise - I've applied at a couple of places. One of them I found on craigslist, but discovered that I could get a friend to put a good word in for me - he did - and it looks like I might be a candidate! YAY! So - we'll see.

School is completely on the back burner. With the moving, the possible house, the possible job, etc...there's just no room. I wonder...will I ever get to go back and finish?

New Year's is almost here! Last year I went to Louisiana to visit friends and this year I'm headed to Nashville to visit my dear friend, Terah! I'm super excited and I'll get to see crazy Amy, and hopefully a couple of other friends along the way. :) My old roommate Erin is going with me - and I know we'll have a blast. Now...if it could only snow for us....

Christmas Came Early

2009-12-24T03:13:00.002-06:00

My sister went to the doctor about 2 weeks ago. The woman is half dead. Okay - not really, but she drives me crazy. Between school, her 4 kids, finances, my mom, my dad, etc...she's at the end of her rope. It didn't surprise me that she had bronchitis. It also didn't surprise me that she had an complete emotional meltdown in her doctor's office. She's been pretty short with all the kids, me and my mom for a while now - I'm just glad the big one happened in the doctor's office.

She didn't give too much thought to the breakdown after that. School finally ended, she started feeling better and just preparing for Christmas and next semester. Until yesterday. Her doctor called her, well, it's actually the PA - but that's who she sees anyway. She left a message that she wanted to stop by and check on her. My sister wasn't home, but my nephew was...she dropped off 3 bags full of presents! There's a few things for each of the kids - all 4 of them!

It leaves me almost speechless. Normally - if my sister was having a rough year, financially, my parents would more than make up for what they lacked - or I would do my best. But this year is very different. It's been rough for all of us and while Christmas is certainly not about the presents - we always want to do something. And I know especially for my sister, it's been extremely difficult. Parents always want to do as much as they can for their children, and there have even been some 'needs' that have gone overlooked b/c the funds haven't been there.

As the aunt - it's been even more difficult to sit by and watch, knowing that #1 - I couldn't do anything about the situation they're in and #2 - I couldn't do very much in helping them out financially.

So, tonight, my heart is so thankful to my sister's doctor's office. It always blesses me when people see a need and fulfill it. It's so much more powerful and moving for it to affect you personally. I will never be able to thank her for what she's done - but wow - I can only imagine that it comes from the Lord. He is good and just and has mercy and grace for us - this is one of those times where I get to see it in action.

Merry Christmas everyone!

2009-12-21T09:23:00.002-06:00

Just wanted to post a tiny update. Life is crazy in the fast lane. =) I so wish the pilgrims had decided to celebrate Thanksgiving in October...or September. That would have made the time between the two big holidays a little more spread out.

Life at home has been rough lately. Mom seems to have more and more meltdowns. I know some of it is because the real, actual, finality of the divorce is just around the corner. She's had a health scare - and she seems to be of the christian scientist persuasion that God will heal her supernaturally, or she will die and either way...it's God's plan.

Don't get me wrong...of course I believe that it's all God's plan. However...remember the story of the man stranded on his roof during a flood? A boat came by, a helicopter, etc...and he said no - my God will save me. And then he drowned. When he got to heaven, he asked God why he didn't save him...God said...I sent you a boat, helicopter, etc...

She's gotten into the threatening me to move out. Naturally at this moment I can't financially do that...so I just try to keep her at bay. But - I'm looking for something full-time, stable and with benefits. So - hope you'll pray for me. It looks like school will once again go on the back burner...

Interesting possibility though - my friend/former roommate - Erin may be buying a new home next year. And if she does it would probably all come together in late spring/early summer. That would be great for her current roommate Amy who will probably be getting married around then. But - the great thing about this house is it has a smaller 'apartment' out behind it. Since it will have been completely gutted, it could be super fun to live there. Anyway...it's a possibility.

I do start working for a tax company next month. I took a one week class (scary, I know) and will start working in January. What's sad...I actually make more money on unemployment than I will working 40 hrs a week with them. *sigh*

The Home Make Over is officially, finally over! YAY! It was amazing and you should check out the blog here. I do actually have some things to tweek and finish up.

Gift Wrap has taken over my life - and I can't wait for Christmas Eve to get here for more than one reason. =)

Spiritually...wow...can I say that God has been busy sifting? The way I think, the way I spend my time, who I spend my time with, what my passion is, and what my ultimate goals are. It has been far from easy. In fact, just this weekend I went through something very difficult/painful - consequences of that sifting - and while I'm still not done figuring it all out - I really do feel a weight lifted off of my shoulders and my heart.

Still praying about church...I do love the pastor - his messages have been dead-on for me. And - Katie likes going to the youth group - although with band/indoor she won't be able to go again until the late spring/summer. And I don't know that there's a place for me to serve...plus it's so far away that being really involved is difficult. So...continuing to pray about that.

Anyway, that's the short version of all of this. Christmas is just days away and thankfully we haven't been overly crazy. Although my sister is insisting on putting up a Christmas tree...just 2 days out from Christmas...so...for now...peace out.

Over-extension=Me

2009-11-26T02:43:00.002-06:00

Yes - I am over-extended, and there's not anything I can do about it except figure out how to handle it.

Home Make Over has begun - check out the blog here. I'm in charge of PR, taking pictures and keeping up with the blog. So - until this project is over...there will be no blogs here. Keep up with us over there - If you can help - please let me know!

Also - in the midst of this crazy, quick renovation - I'm in charge of Katie's giftwrap fundraiser for the band. It runs Black Friday through Christmas Eve...if you need your packages wrapped, bring them by Cordova Mall and help support The Pride!

My cousins came in town Monday night for Thanksgiving. When I suggested they come - I didn't realize how crazy busy I would be. I hate that I haven't spent as much time with them - and even tonight I've spent most of it on this silly computer getting it all caught up. I'm so glad they came, because the original plan was for me to go to their house in Texas...not quite sure how that would have worked with HMO & Gift wrap...

They leave Friday - and I need to be back at the house Friday at 8am - not really sure that I'm going to make it - especially since it's their last morning here.

Today was INSANE - just a little bit of my schedule -

7:00 - up, coffee, left the Portofino, starbucks, pick up Katie, go to bandroom, load-up gift wrap boxes and supplies (filled a trailer that you pull, the back of a Durango and my backseat) headed to the mall, unloaded, organized, double checked with mall staff that we were set-up correctly for egress, etc. Headed to Erin's work to show her co-worker (who is the niece of the family who won the HMO) pictures of what we had done so far. Then off to the paint store to choose paint and pack it all up. Lunch (or breakfast...which was at about 3:00 - then to the HMO house, then to the cabinet people, to my house, to Wal-mart, the HMO house again, Katie's house, Krispy Kreme, Verizon, and then back to the Portofino where my cousins are staying.

I never did eat dinner...and now I'm feeling it...although it's 3:00am and I've been going nonstop for 20 hours...

Talk about a turkey coma - that's where I will spend tomorrow. I'm exhausted and feel it all in my back and my neck. :( God is faithful and I know He will take care of all of my needs, because I know He's called me to these other projects.

Anyway - catch you AFTER Dec. 6th! Please PRAY!!!! for all of us!!!!!

And for our new friend, Darnell, who had a seizure Tuesday night during worship - he had gotten saved on Monday night!!!! The docs released him last night at about 12:30am - couldn't find anything wrong with him.

Crazy...huh? Nope - that's God.

And yes - you seriously HAVE to check out the blog -

Really Quick Note...

2009-11-18T02:01:00.002-06:00

Sometimes things happen. I have about 3 posts ready for me to finish up - but no time. The short story - last week I had an awful kidney stone attack. It came with a kidney infection - yay. I spent several hours at the ER - have no idea if it's going to be covered by my insurance - but at least I was feeling 'gooooood' by the time we left. I spent the next few days pretty sick. By Friday I was lots better and had a great weekend - pain free!

Being sick really put me behind. So yesterday I got the bright idea that I would stay up until I got everything caught up. I have a zillion things to work on for Katie and the band. I'm somehow 'in charge' of the gift wrapping fundraiser which is actually a lot of work. We start the day after thanksgiving and run through Christmas eve.

I updated the 'rules', scheduled a training session for the students. Drafted out the different shifts and am now in the process of making sure we have enough coverage for each day. (Anyone in the area that wants to help...you are more than welcome! ha!)

In addition to that, I'm the PR person for the Home Make Over. It was supposed to be 2 of us - but has turned into just me. Oh well. I had to research how to write a press release - and finished that up today - waiting on getting some changes and then I can finally send it out - and cross it off my list!

I had to take pictures of a LOT of stuff around the house that mom is finally ready to sell. Then I had to post it on craigslist. 36 different posts...ick.

I still hadn't unpacked from my weekend to destin - and then with being sick - my room and the kitchen were disasters! I finally got my room clean (until tonight) and the kitchen picked up. There's always more to do...and it awaits me...but at least I feel more organized and ready to work on these other projects.

I finally finished everything around 11:30 this morning. Yeah...so...I was awake yesterday at about 8:30...and didn't get to sleep until about noon. More than 24 hours - and I was exhausted! I took a 3 hour nap - got up - got ready and headed out to run a couple of errands and then seven22. I try to help out by making sure the slides with the songs are ready. Depending on how much Robert does - it can go quickly or slowly. Today he had it mostly done and I just went it and polished it up a bit.

Then...I ran to take Katie to church...the other church...the one that's on the complete other side of the world...(but I'm glad she's going). Then back to seven22. Great night of worship and a testimony. Things are changing...I am changing...there's so much...but no room for a post.

I ended up going to whataburger afterwards with 2 friends - Chris and I have known each other for years - we've been friends - but the hey, how ya doin, more like we knew who each other was - but not really knowing. He's going through a rough time - and like all of us it affects what He believes about God - and how much he's willing to Trust God...I hope I encouraged him a little. Josh was also there and he's another one of those - we've seen each other around - but haven't really 'known' each other. Good guy. It was nice getting to know him.

I headed over to Fridays to meet everyone else - (it was a lot cheaper at whataburger and they hadn't even gotten their food!) It was nice to see everyone there and catch up. Good conversation - still have things to be said though.

Through all of this I've been feeling fine. Great in fact - other than being a little sleepy. Several people have asked about my stone - and it hasn't been bothering me. That is - until I got about half way home - all of a sudden it's just causing some crazy pain. I can only attribute it to it moving down the path...but oh I just have no time for this!

I'm supposed to meet with someone to go over the inventory we have for gift wrap tomorrow. Then I have to finish up the press release. I also have the training session with the kids after school - and then the Home Make Over starts tomorrow afternoon.

It wouldn't bother me so much - but these are commitments that I have and I hate not being able to keep them - or not even knowing if I CAN keep them. I have no idea how I will feel and I hate that people are counting on me. (there's a whole idea running here...for another day)

I've taken some meds...and they're helping a little...might take some more before I try to sleep. Pain is not fun. So - we'll see how this all turns out. I can definitely use some prayer - so if you're having trouble thinking of who to pray for - hope I come to the top of that list. =)

But seriously - there's just too much going on. Can someone ask God what his plan is.

Thanks...

Maybe This Time...

2009-11-15T22:08:00.005-06:00

I'm listening to the GLEE soundtrack that I downloaded last night. I'm in pure geek heaven! :) Can I just reiterate the WHEW from the last post I made?

WHEW!!!

It's been a whirlwind of craziness.

Katie was super sweet and thought of me Friday and in a round about way got me out of chaperoning. Thankfully they had more than enough and when the person in charge heard from Katie that I had had a kidney stone, she told me that didn't have to have me. I do love hanging out with the kids, but that was a blessing!

With a free night I went to dinner with some friends at Texas Roadhouse. My favorite place in the world...next to Ichiban....and Olive Garden...and the million and one other places I like :) Like I said - fantastic friends...and I did something I've never done before...I spewed!

You know...when you have something to drink in your mouth (in this case, water) and someone says something and you lose control and spew the water at whomever happens to be in your vicinity...oh it was awfully embarrassing...but hilarious at the same time. Especially b/c no one really said anything funny - but some of us were thinking it.

After dinner Erin and I hung out for a bit, but I was tired and went home around 10. Sheesh...I'm so old. I'm going to just chock it up to the recovery process. :)

Saturday I actually got up early, but the day quickly ran away from me. My lovely friend Valerie got married!!! Val and I have been friends for over 10 years...you go through a lot with a person during that period of time. I don't normally cry at weddings, but it was Valerie...and as she was saying her vows I was thinking back to all of our very young, naive, impatient conversations.

It's a good reminder of what being patient and waiting on God's timing (which is soooo far different from mine) will do for a person. And I don't mean in just the relationship area. (but more about that later...) Her wedding was beautiful, and I got to see some old friends, most that I haven't seen in several years. I actually stayed to the end which I don't usually do - but I caught the bouquet. In all the weddings I've been to/part of I've never caught the bouquet - and a nice surprise was that they were real roses.

After the wedding...I headed over to Erin's again - we watched The Ugly Truth - cute movie, definitely a couple of scenes and language could have been left out - but cute nonetheless.

Whew....

2009-11-13T11:28:00.002-06:00

What a week...or two. It's been rough lately. It seems the devil has really been working on me - but I suppose that means that God is also working on me b/c satan doesn't usually bother with people who are doing nothing.

In the past few weeks I have gone through an emotional crisis (which is still not quite resolved), a physical crisis (which is definitely not resolved), a slight spiritual turmoil (which I haven't quite figured out) and just an overall brokeness.

I know that in brokeness we can grow the most - but I am not so sure that I enjoy the process. I had seriously planned on having everything figured out and back to normal - no later than Tuesday. And that's just when it all went haywire. A kidney stone and an infection - a killer one at that!

Praise the Lord I am on the mend. Seems my timetable is not the same as the Lord's.

In the midst of all this going on - we have people. People who are loved by God, and whom we're supposed to love. But why do they make it so difficult? And where do we draw the line between destruction and love? For me, I hate the feeling of trusting someone and then having them betray me. That is the unforgiveable sin, for me. Interestingly enough...that was part of the message my pastor gave on Sunday. Trust. Trusting God.

How is it that I relate my reluctance to trust people with whether or not I can trust God? He has never betrayed me.

There is definitely a lot more to be said, and fleshed out. I soooo wish I had this one done and checked off my list.

Thankfully I am feeling better and can start working on these little things. Tonight is the last football game of the season and I'm chaperoning the away game. Tomorrow is the wedding of one of my favorite people - we haven't even seen each other in over a year or two and I honestly couldn't be happier for her! I can't wait to celebrate her on this special day!

Saturday night I have plans with one of my other favorite people. I am super thankful for her friendship - God has really blessed me.

I also need to write a press release for the Home MakeOver that I'm kind of struggling with. It needs to be done ASAP (like yesterday!)

And...we'll go from there. :)

Random...

2009-11-09T13:19:00.003-06:00

Random thought...

We need people in our lives who will keep us accountable. They're like the white and yellow lines on the road. We know we're supposed to stay in our own lanes - but they help remind us. :)

Lots to do!

2009-11-04T23:02:00.002-06:00

I need to be snuggled down in my bed...quickly falling asleep...but alas...I'm not. I have an early meeting tomorrow about a fundraiser for Katie's band...somehow I've been 'volunteered' as a co-chair for the giftwrap service. We have a meeting with our contact at the mall tomorrow.

I also have a few errands to run after that and then I need to come home and try mowing the lawn some more...blah!

Tomorrow night we're celebrating Spencer's 17th birthday! Where does the time go? How did he go from the little chubby precious baby to this big, bright kid? I ordered a special cake from my friend, Brieanna - you should check out the cakes that she makes - she's really amazing. Spencer loves the taste of wedding cake and so, I've asked Brieanna to make a birthday/wedding cake. I'm excited to see how it turns out.

Then...I have to pack. How on earth did this creep up on me? On Friday I'm heading to Destin to spend a couple days with some friends. It should be interesting and hopefully really relaxing and peaceful.

I'm super proud of my mom. She has been doing pretty well lately, emotionally. She seems to have a little more vim and vigor. :) It's been difficult to get her to go to church or a bible study, but I did convince her to go to a local divorce recovery class. Unfortunately, it wasn't what she or I thought it would be. They just had a speaker talking about lawyers...we both thought that the class would be seeing divorce and relationships through God's eyes...but she did promise to go again the next time they have the class, just to double check.

We've come to the decision that she's going to move upstairs so that we can start to consolidate. With both of us living upstairs, we'll only be using the electricity upstairs, which will save money on the utilities.

To make that happen...Fred has to get the rest of his stuff out of his room and that room needs to be cleaned. We need to pack everything in my dad's office up and put it in Fred's room. My mom declared that she should do the packing...whatever...so...that's her project for this weekend. Hopefully, she'll be feeling well enough to do it while I'm gone.

Once my dad's office is cleaned out of the stuff, I will clean the room and mom is going to pick out a paint color. Then...if all is done by Monday...I'll start painting...we'll see if I can keep from falling off a ladder this time. Once it's painted, etc...we need to move her the things she wants in her bedroom upstairs. I might be enlisting the help of some friends for that.

Once she and the dogs are moved upstairs...we can then start working on arranging things downstairs so that it can all be sold! YAY!!!!! I think we'll keep her old room for items that we don't want to sell, but don't quite have room upstairs for.

We have quite a few big items upstairs that we're going to sell as well so my project is to take pictures of everything, look up approximate value online and then post on craigslist...etc.

So...there's a lot that we have got to get done. But I'm proud of my mom. Now...I have no doubt that she will change her mind, lose her initiative and we'll end up with a bigger mess than what we started with...but I can only pray.

A Dilemma

2009-11-03T11:45:00.002-06:00

I am allergic to grass. It's sooo not fun. If we get a real tree at Christmas, decorating is problem b/c even touching it and I break out. *sigh*

Normally I do pretty well to stay away from it all, but since I haven't found anyone to reasonably keep up with our lawn, my mom has been doing it. She's feisty and pretty tough, but after working all day on a school bus in addition to the multitude of drama in her life, it wears her out.

So...she spent about an hour on it yesterday while I was lying in bed with the migraine. I feel guilty.

So...the dilemma is, do I risk it? Yeah...I think I kind of need to. BLAH!

I despise outside work anyway...and being allergic makes it worse.

*sigh*

Here I go...

Couldn't Resist...

2009-11-03T04:03:00.004-06:00

I was sooo cute! What on earth happened? I think I 'peaked' in elementary school. *sigh* oh well...this is me on my first day of kindergarten...with my Garfield lunch box and my very blonde hair...oh...maybe I should be a blonde again. :)

Ok...so I was sifting through more stuff and found these old pictures. Since my niece is also in band...and we just had a mini band reunion...I figure it's definitely time to bring these out of the woodwork. :) The below picture is the flute section either my sophmore or junior year...but i'm not 100% sure which.

The below picture is of our entire band after we had marched at the Emerald Coast Marching Fest in Ft. Walton during my Freshman year. (I only know b/c there's a date printed on the picture...haha) I had forgotten just how big of a band we were. WOW. Good times

Ok...I'm done posting old pictures...for now :)

Blast from the Past

2009-11-03T01:31:00.004-06:00

I finally finished rearranging my room AND got my printer set-up. So...I of course needed to procrastinate a little and start scanning some old pictures and documents. Here's a pic of me and my little cousin, Alison, that I haven't seen since she was about 4 years old.

This pic was from Christmas 1988 (I think). Those were the days when my hair was long, white-blonde and had to be pulled back so tightly that my eyes almost bugged out.

My family still makes fun of me for my 'fashion' decisions...and rightly so. I had some pretty weird ideas and was so stubborn that nothing they could say would have deterred me from doing what I wanted to...hmmm...sound familiar?

This below is a picture of my dad. I'm not quite sure when it was taken, but I'm leaning towards the late 70's - about the time I was born.

I'm working on my family's geneology (all sides) so expect to see some random old pictures and documents over the next several months as I get things organized. Should be kinda fun. :)

Working through a Migraine

2009-11-01T18:09:00.002-06:00

Last night I was supposed to push my clock back an hour. YAY!!!! I get an extra hour of sleep!!! The problem with that scenario is...I actually pushed it forward an hour. So when I woke up thinking it was 8:00, it was really only 6:00. No big deal...I woke up with a migraine so I should be able to go back to sleep for a good 2 hours. Yeah..except that I didn't reset the clock and kept waking myself up to make sure I didn't oversleep...consequently...I overslept.

Ha. Such is the day. So about 9:30ish I finally got out of bed and took more drugs. It definitely helps that I was picking up Katie for church or else I probably would have just gone back to bed and pulled the covers over my head.

I burned the side of my face Friday morning with my curling iron. I've done that before - but this one is worse - and it certainly hurts worse. It's not a 2nd degree but it's got to be close and it just plain hurts. It's also a bit conspicuous, kind of hard to miss. blah! Been putting aloe, vitamin E and micitracin intermittendly on it.

Anyway, I was running late, Katie was running late and Claire was too sick to go. We got to church a bit late so I just snuck in the back. The one time that I actually put my phone away for church and I had a couple of people texting me worried about where I was. Probably wouldn't have happened if I wasn't in semi-hermit mode.

I had promised Kate that I would drop her and her friend off at the fair - but first we needed to eat. We needed to be kinda quick, but good so we decided on Subway. Pulling into the parking lot we both decided to forego our original idea and head straight for Waffle House. :) A much better idea and it gave us plenty of catch up time, just me and her. She's so busy with school, band, ROTC and her friends and I'm always so busy and distracted that I don't get to spend much one on one time with her.

I love that kid.

Afterwards I went straight home and tried to get some more sleep. The migraine was still lingering and I just didn't feel well. I made a couple of phone calls just so some people didn't think I was dead and then went back to bed.

Sadly - the migraine didn't go away.

Explosion

2009-11-01T00:07:00.002-05:00

It's like words have exploded in my head and they are just screaming to escape. I know you've really missed me and I hope you enjoy this bit of saturation because I have no idea how long it will last.

I figure a good way to keep myself somewhat accountable is to put things on paper - or rather - on the internet. There are 10 million things I need to do - and it seems as if my head just spins most days and I accomplish absolutely nothing. So to motivate myself a little more, here are a few things I need to be working on.

Finish rearranging my bedroom. I've done a pretty good job, and there are really only a couple of things left to do, but that also means vacuuming before I move the furniture.
Organizing my office. It's in a complete shambles and I have no idea where anything is or for that matter, where it's supposed to be.
Set-up my printer.
Print lots of things - resume, applications, paperwork, transcript requests, etc. I need to kill a lot of trees...but I'm so far away from that now...
Car needs an oil change, rotation and general 60,000 mile check-up. She also needs a serious bath and time set aside to be detailed.
Finish stuff up for school...gather all the necessary paperwork, student loan stuff...wading through the multitude of that junk.
Hair trim
Pictures - take lots of pictures of stuff my mom is finally ready to sell.
Post those pictures online - ebay/craigslist...etc.
Keep track of all of that. yay.
Find a job
Kitchen - the cabinets must be emptied, scrubbed, kitchen-ware must be gone through and what I'm keeping needs to be put back. Everything else, needs to be priced to sell.
Organize boxes and boxes of pictures...scan all the old pictures and put them on CD's.
Figure out what's going on with my health insurance...and it's time to make a doc appointment.
Then of course there's my dad's bankruptcy, my parent's divorce and all the daily drama that goes along with that.
I need to find someone that will keep up with our lawn for a reasonable price.
Start mapping out the repairs that need to be done in the house and preparing for those.
Pack up the stuff my dad left in his office and then move my mom upstairs.
Pressure wash the driveway
Katie's band commitments...
Work on our geneology

Woah

Yeah, so, there's a lot going on. I'm not quite sure how we're going to do this once I go back to work AND start school. This will be interesting and I have no idea what it will all look like on this part of the journey.

Finally

2009-10-31T21:12:00.002-05:00

I have been searching for months...several, several months. I've been looking on craigslist, ebay and just word of mouth. I did not want to spend a lot...afterall...who knows how long I will stay interested...but since I've been looking for this since January...I hope I do keep up with it.

Drumroll please....it's a....wait for it...wait for it...it's a....GUITAR!!!!

I've always wanted to play...but I haven't quite had the gumption to really pursue it. Mostly I'm afraid. The flute & sax came so easily to me - and reading music is nothing - I don't even think about it.

What if I totally suck?

And quite honestly...I'm pretty sure that I will. But, I refuse to let that stop me from trying. Funny...how that only lights a fire under some things for me...

Anyway...guess there is finally a reason for my nails to stay so short. :)

Fall is in the air

2009-10-31T03:47:00.003-05:00

Fall is in the air (hopefully). The weather is a little crazy...one day cold enough for gloves/scarf/hat and the next day so muggy that any clothing is just too much.

So - here's hoping the weather will straighten itself out and in the meantime I will dream of that lovely fall weather...where the leaves actually change colors and then fall off the trees...where there's a lovely breeze and my hair doesn't go flat as soon as I even get close to the door.

Now...aren't you shocked? This is my 3rd post in less than 24 hrs...I wouldn't expect much more from me for a while...you know how I am. But - I've also added several websites and several blogs...please visit them. :)

Discernment

2009-10-31T02:10:00.002-05:00

I really have no idea where this post is going to go. I'm kinda working it out as I go...

dictionary.com defines discern as:

1. to perceive by the sight or some other sense or by the intellect; see, recognize, or apprehend.
2. to distinguish mentally; recognize as distinct or different.

The NIV has 34 different instances of the word discern (or some form). Only 2 of them are in the new testament.

Several years ago I took a spiritual gift inventory and one the categories that I was highest in was discernment. At the time, I didn't know what it really was and it took some time for me to really understand it. It's not necessarily wisdom. And that makes sense b/c I'm not always the wisest person - especially when it comes to myself. :) I admit it - I embrace it - and I pray about it - but probably not enough.

Now that I do understand it more over the last several years I have often wondered if maybe this was Paul's thorn. You might think I'm crazy...how could a spiritual gift be a thorn? I'm not sure I can really explain it. Maybe if I had a different personality, I wouldn't feel that way...but it's like I see an accident waiting to happen...and if someone doesn't intervene or change...that accident is going to happen and people are going to get hurt.

Some people like to watch the horror of an accident. I on the other hand - always look away. I just can't watch as two cars, speeding along, head for each other.

Unfortunately - I have more than one of those type of situations in my life. They don't all affect me directly, but in some way they do. I don't ever like to see anyone get hurt but I am fully aware that I probably can't do anything about it.

So how do I reconcile it?

And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ-to the glory and and praise of God. ~ Philippians 1:9-11

So once again it revolves around that elusive 'love'. Loving people where they are at - loving people the way they need to be loved. It certainly won't be easy and I'm not quite sure where to start and how to love people while not watching the accident.

I do believe though, that if I can figure this out, I will have grown...a lot. And maybe, just maybe, what I feel is a thorn right now will start to feel like a gift. I suppose it's all in what your goals are.

Hermit-mode?

2009-10-30T16:02:00.002-05:00

I generally make fun of my friend Robert. He's amazingly talented in just about everything he does and is a great, all-around person. But, like all of us, he has some quirks - and one of those is his habit of hiding from the world.

You know - he doesn't answer phone calls, emails, doesn't show up places...etc.

But - this afternoon - all of a sudden - I feel the same way. I don't want to go anywhere, don't want to talk to anyone, etc. Can't even finish a blog post about stuff that's going on.

I have intentionally avoided 4 phone calls this afternoon - all people I love - but just don't want to talk to. I do feel a tiny bit guilty - but it's not enough for me to call them back. So...their calls will continue to go unanswered for now. (no one needs me that much)

A Reminder...

2009-10-22T00:01:00.002-05:00

Today has been a wonderful day. And at the same time - very difficult. We're still fighting with my nephew - he has a cat now and isn't showing respect for the cat or anyone else. My mom is sick with the crud and I learned tonight that someone who's been to seven22 recently decided to take their own life.

In comparison of that last one...everything else seems trivial.

It breaks my heart. I don't even know who the person is - if I know them or not. I have no idea the circumstances they were in and whether or not there was anything I could have done to step in - the way others have stepped into my life.

It's caused me to realize - I have been blessed, and rescued way more than I could ever hope, imagine or deserve. That fact alone floors me. I take it for granted. I don't praise God enough for the good and the bad in my life.

And a step further - what exactly am I doing?

Why am I not out there - sharing what God has done - proclaiming it - loving on people.

And will I change tomorrow? Will I be any different?

I don't really want to know the answer to that question. But I want to try.

2009-10-14T13:56:00.003-05:00

There are no excuses...I can't even come up with one...I just haven't written. There's so much going on, so much that God is doing and moving in that I should be writing and sharing but just haven't.

My family is crazier than ever these days...and the last couple weeks have been rough...for all concerned.

We are beginning the Home Make Over for the ministry that I'm a part of. It's about to get really, really crazy.

I'm closer to finally getting all my ducks in a row for school...bust still so far away. :(

Making plans for Thanskgiving!!! YAY!!!!

So - in a nutshell - that's it. That's all you get for now...

Awe of a Child

2009-09-23T02:28:00.002-05:00

Wow...what a day/night! I just got home a few minutes ago. As exhausted as I am and as early as I need to get up tomorrow, I still need a few minutes to decompress.

We set tonight aside as a night of just worship music.

It was amazing. Not only for us a group of people seeking the face of the Lord - but for me. Jennifer. A selfish, impatient, stubborn...child of the Living God. Those words shouldn't share the same sentence - but they do. How can I be so full of sin and Jesus at the same time?

Everytime my 4-year old niece, Claire, sees me - she says, "I missed you, Aunt Jenny!" Sometimes she's screaming it at the top of her lungs when she sees my car pull up, and other times it happens when she comes into whatever room I'm in (when she's already seen me a few times) and crawls up in my lap and almost whispers it.

Do you have any idea how great absolutely wonderful it makes me feel? Sometimes it's all I need to hear to make the craziness of the day melt away. And sometimes, I know she's just saying it to say it. It made sense when I lived 4 1/2 hrs away and didn't get to see her very often. But now that I see her almost every day - and sometimes several times in one day - it doesn't quite make as much sense.

How often do I do that with God? He's never gone from my presence...although I know I am not always in His. There are times I proclaim it from the rooftops that I have missed Him, that I love Him, that life without Him isn't the same. And there are other times that I whisper it small & quiet - where just He & I hear it. But the same as with Claire - there are times I do it out of habit, because it's what I always say, and because I know it's what He wants to hear.

Claire is in awe of me. That fact alone baffles me and humbles me. What a precious little child, and she has so much faith. I talked to her about boys and how they have cooties - and she believes me. (which they do by the way and I gave her a cootie shot too!) She trusts me completely. She knows that when I tell her something it's true and she can believe me.

I wish I still had that with God. It's the same type of relationship. I am in utter and complete awe of Christ. But I don't really believe everything He says. If I did - my life would be so much different. And how do I get to that point? Will I ever get to that point?

I am so thankful for Word - and for those around me who encourage and challenge me on a daily basis. Thankful for relationship with all sorts of people, including the children in my life. They reflect me in things they say and do - some of those are good - and others bring tears to my eyes. I have so far to go.

I'm so thankful for a night of worship - to have the freedom to proclaim the Name of Christ, to spend some time with others, but alone worshipping the One, True, Living God. I have never been more blessed.

Church

2009-09-21T13:40:00.003-05:00

When I moved home I knew the first thing I needed to do was find a church. Before I moved out of pcola I was attending a church where I really didn't get anything from the pastor. So - now that I'm home - it's time to get serious about it. So I started visiting. I try not to let distance be an issue (or excuse). When I lived in NOLA, I drove half an hour, across the bridge, so I remind myself of that. What am I looking for?

Biblical church - a church that is operating as close as possible to the New Testament church. The theology is just as important as how they put it into practice.
A strong, teaching-type of pastor.
Music - while I do enjoy and can get a lot out of 'traditional' music, I prefer and seem to worship more effectively with contemporary music.
A place to serve - I don't want to burn myself out - but I know that I was created to serve and I very much want to fulfill my potential.

There's a few other 'little' things that I'm searching for - but these are the basics. So, I've been visiting a wonderful church the past several weeks. I really enjoy hearing the pastor and even the 'fill - in' pastors. The messages have been exactly what I needed to hear. They have challenged me and encouraged me all at the same time. It's been quite a while since I've had that consistency. The music is absolultely spirit-led and I can't remember when I worshipped as freely.

On the other hand is my family. Katie was going to this church for youth during the spring and the summer. Now that she has band practice, she's not able to go. But I know she enjoyed it. She won't get up early on a Sunday morning to go with me - but I still have hope.

My mom and I have been talking a lot over the last 2 months. They've been very productive for both her and myself. One thing that I know she needs to help her get out of this 'pit' that she's in is to find a church. She won't go by herself - not b/c she's scared, or doesn't like going places alone...but just b/c she won't. So - I offered to go with her. At first I told her to choose a place that she would like to visit - but that didn't seem to go too well. She wouldn't make the effort. I eventually just told her that I go to church every Sunday and she is welcome to come with me - anytime. For several weeks I invited her and she would bail on Sunday morning. This past saturday she asked me where I was going - I told her I was going to the same church I had been going to, and that's not really her cup of tea. So then I offered to take her to a more conservative, although large, church. And she accepted. And she didn't bail on me Sunday morning!

WooHoo!!!!

I felt as if a huge battle had been won, especially since the night before I had a nasty kidney stone attack & I wasn't sure if I'd be able to go in the morning. I know full well that it wasn't a coincidence. Anyway - we went, it's the first time in years that I've seen her in a church, and she semi-enjoyed it. I figure we'll sit down this week sometime and chat about it, but I'm thoroughly excited about her decision to step out. It was a big one for her.

As for me, I enjoyed it, but I noticed that the pastor (although he was biblical) bounced around and went too fast for me. It wasn't as much the 'teaching' type as I am most comfortable with. And in the end, I don't have to go to the same church my mom goes to. But I know right now, it's important for her to have someone to go with her. I just hope that she will keep moving forward. Now...if only I could get her involved in a Bible study...

New, New, New

2009-09-17T01:48:00.004-05:00

I figure if I'm actually going to put up a new post then I should change the layout a bit too. :) I know it's been over a month since my last post but I've been so crazy busy. I really am hoping to get back into blogging again. I miss it.

Is that weird to say?

Back to the purpose - God has seriously been working in my life. Working like I've never seen before - and it is scary. There are two overall ideas He's trying to get across to me - Love - that real, agape kind of love. I've learned this before - supposedly - but this time it seems different. There is more to it. Kind of like when you're little and start learning your ABC's - and then one day you learn the sounds they make...and that those sounds make up the sentences and then conversations...etc.

The other idea that He's beating into my very thick head is not to waste what He has called me to, and not to waste the talents & gifts He's given me. He gave them to me - to use for Him.

It's all very elementary - but very complex at the same time. You will definitely be hearing more about this in the near future as I continue to flesh out exactly what He is telling me.

On the mundane daily front - I've been crazy busy. Katie is now in high school - WHAT?!?!?!?!?! Where did the time go? Just last week wasn't I in my senior year and she was running about the band room? I've been helping her raise money by working in the concession stand, and chaperoning and picking her up & all of that fun stuff.

I've also started helping out my friend Robert. He's absolutely the most talented & gifted person on the earth that I know - he does graphic design, photography, web design, etc...but probably his strong point, and the one that God is leading him to do more and more is leading in worship. (here's my shameless plug for him...but since I'm helping him out, and this is my blog...I don't think it's that shameless...right?) Basically I'm helping him get some of the details taken care of, book some gigs and generally whatever I can do. It's perfect timing since I'm not working. So...all 5 of you who read my blog, if you need a worship leader to fill in, do a special event, etc...please send me a note and we'll see what we can work out. Have keyboards - will travel.

School will start next month...I'm still a little behind...ok...who am I kidding? I'm a LOT behind. But that's ok...I plan to really work on it the next few days.

Ok...so that's enough of the boring news in my life. I really do promise to try to update a bit more often. Who knew that the unemployed could be so busy?

Summer of Vacations

2009-08-09T00:55:00.002-05:00

I honestly can't complain. This has been a wonderful summer! My trip to New York was just the beginning. Two weeks ago I moved back in with my mother (yeah...I know) and last week I went to North Carolina to visit some cousins. Now...I'm headed to Texas to spend a week on a lake with some other cousins. I really have been blessed.

My house is still a complete disaster. Most of that is because my parents have so much junk that there's no place to put mine. But...I'm trying to put my own OCD issues aside and pretend it doesn't matter. I did get the kitchen relatively organized...for the time being.

The trip to Texas is crazy...11ish hours of driving...the place we're going is on the other side of Austin and should be a blast.

I'm hoping to stop in La and visit some people on the way. :) (you all know who you are)

When I get back I have a zillion things to do - still waiting on things for UWF so I can register. And then before I know it - school will be starting. (Did I honestly just say that?????) Am I really ready to be back in school? YIKES!

Hopefully...when life settles down...I'll be able to post some pictures soon...well...probably not...but at least you know that I know I should :)

CHANGES!!!!

2009-07-11T19:17:00.005-05:00

There are so many changes - I'm not quite sure where to start...except to say that my vacation was AMAZING!!!! I had a blast...did some geneology stuff, saw some cousins, did a heck of a lot of walking and definitely took advantage of the mass transit system - 2 planes, 3 cabs, 2 trains, 2 vans, lots of buses and an infinite number of subway trains.

Good times. Wish I had time to tell you all about it - but as usual - life is crazy!

I have been praying for quite some time about leaving my job. The stress has really been getting to me - so much so that I now have some physical problems that have arisen. My doctors and I are almost 100% positive that these are a result of the stress I'm under. Once I finally made the decision to leave - I honestly did start to feel better. Aren't our bodies amazing? Only God could have orchestrated the mental part of our body being connected to the physical. Since my parents are getting a divorce - and my sister and I are so concerned about my mom - I decided that I would move back to pcola.

This is a scary decision - the job market here is just as bad as everywhere else - and has been bad longer than most places - pcola got hit really hard during 2004 with 2 direct hit hurricanes. The tourists stopped coming - and we've been trying to rebuild ourselves ever since.

It's also a scary decision b/c I'm moving in with my mom...yes...I'm aware of how this could end up. But I'm trying to pray through everything - and through every conversation. For the first time in a very long time, I feel that I am in a position to be able to help her when she needs it. She is going through so much emotionally - and at times it really is like talking with a small child - but I think things will get much better as time goes on.

My oldest nephew will also be moving in with us. He and I will share the upstairs, and my mom will have the downstairs. It's a great option for him as he has been wanting to move out of his parents house for a very long time but is not financially stable enough to do so.

As for a job - well - there is so much going on in the present that I'm not rushing into it. Thankfully - I don't have very many bills and my mom is willing to help me out for a short time. I'm hoping to really be able to do some renovations to my mom and sister's houses during this time. Rooms need to be cleaned, painted, a couple of bathrooms need to be completely redone, the air conditioning has to be replaced and we have a major leak in the chimney at my moms house. Granted - I can't do most of the hard work b/c I have no idea what to do...like how do you fix the chimney? or how do you replace the air conditioning? But I can do a lot of the other work - like tearing things out (I'm great at demolition....) and I can paint, etc. The biggest part is really just organizing everything. My mom just doesn't have the emotional ability to get these projects started.

I am also planning on going back to school. Watching my sister these last couple of years - has really inspired me to get my degree (in anything at this point) and get out. So - this coming week I'll be beginning that fun adventure of filling out applications, and all that fun stuff.

As crazy as it seems - I have just a complete peace about how it's all working out. I'm really excited about being able to spend regular time with my family...which I myself find bizarre.

I will definitely miss most of the people that I worked with - they are probably the most talented, skilled professionals I've ever worked with. I wish them the best and hope things begin to turn around...soon.

There are some job possibilities that I'm looking into - praying about, etc. I don't plan on going to school full-time so I will at some point this year go back to full-time work. In the meantime - I'm going to spend lots of time with my family - get some projects going at my mom's house and just enjoy it. (There's also a couple of 'family' vacations coming up - which I would never have been able to swing if I was working full-time.)

So - I leave you with a couple of pics from good ol' New York!

Looking up at the 'needle' of the Empire State Building

What visit isn't complete without a visit to Time Square?

I took a train to Long Island to visit some cousins...good times...somehow I didn't take any pictures....

The nerd in me came out - I did a little bit of geneology work - this is a tiny park - it's the last remaining bit of land that belonged to my ancestor (she owned about half of the financial district...in the 1600's)

Vacation is on the horizon...

2009-06-25T22:44:00.002-05:00

That's right...a real...100% vacation! On Sunday morning - I will be heading to the Big Apple!!!! There's more to the story - but isn't it enough that I'm going on a plane for the first time in 10 years? (I've been doing a lot of driving instead!)

Also - life has been insane. But, I'm praying and looking for God's direction.

I'm bound to have tons of pictures of the next few weeks...perhaps I'll make it to get them uploaded here...

For the time being...look at my favorite 4 year old niece...

Doesn't she look comfy?

It's been awhile...

2009-05-13T21:46:00.002-05:00

Isn't that a song? 'It's been a while....my friend'...if not it should be. That seems to be the melody ringing in my mind lately.

Work has been overly stressful and busy as of late. I'm so thankful for my friends, my family and my co-workers. They have been such an encouragement to me. I'm praying...a lot...really...a lot of praying.

Aside from that - I'm making my own plans. Cleaning, organizing, and just trying to be somewhat proactive. This has been a relatively good week...I've been able to get caught up at work and got some positive news. ;)

My family is doing pretty well. My nephew has pulled it together and will actually graduate high school!!!! Hooray!!! That is such a huge praise - and even more proof at how big our God is.

I'm also super proud of my sister who finished her semester with 6 A's and 1 B+!!! Seven classes, four kids, 1 husband, two cats, 1 dog, 1 bathroom. Yeah...she's pretty amazing.

This weekend I'm taking a very quick trip and I know the results will be what God has planned...I just wonder if it lines up with the possibilities that run through my mind.

The realization has hit me - once again - that no matter what happens in this world - God has our family deep in His hand. It's such a reassuring and encouraging feeling. But - it also gives me courage - to keep pressing forward.

So - two and a half more days of this week left - and then on to something fun! ;) And...next Wednesday I will be having even more fun as I have 5 entire days off in a row!!!! YAY!!!! I just don't know what I will be able to do with all that free time...although I have a couple of ideas. ;)

Anyway - hope you are all well and pursuing God with all that you are.

A scare

2009-04-16T11:45:00.002-05:00

My blogging is certainly not all happy go-lucky these days. I wish they were. That would mean my life (and others') was happy-go-lucky too.

My relationship with my mom has been difficult - to say the least. It's partly that co-dependancy, I don't want to be an enabler, I'm a daughter not a friend, I really have no idea what to do or say kind of things going on. The last few months have been a little different. We've talked more often and I even stayed with her on my last visit home (although I had 2 young buffers with me - Katie and Claire).

For the last 12 years or so, I have thought of my mom as my hero - even if I didn't show it. The life that she has endured, the struggles, trials and physical things she has gone through have amazed me. She has completely shocked me the last few weeks when she finally took steps to free her life of the person that has tried to destroy her spirit over the last 46 years. I know it has not been easy for her - but I am so excited for her future.

Obviously, the last week or so has been emotional for her. My dad was finally served this past week and no one has really heard from him. I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing yet. Last night I got a scare - my sister called to tell my mom had been in a car accident. She didn't know much, but was on the way to hospital. I started making plans in case I needed to head to pcola.

Thankfully she wasn't hurt more than some bumps and bruises. Her car is in the shop and the person that hurt her just has some scratches. His motorcycle however, is another story. The man is lucky to be alive. And I am thankful - because had he been seriously hurt, even though the accident wasn't my mom's fault-she would have been a complete basket case.

My mom and sister both said it wasn't necessary for me to go home and check on her - but I still feel a tugging that I should. We have events all weekend and my assistant's sister is having major surgery tomorrow, so this is a bit of a sticky situation. So far I have Friday and Saturday covered - it's just Sunday afternoon that is the problem right now - and if worse came to worse I could always drive back Sunday morning.

I am so thankful for my friends, co-workers and employees - they have been so great. Encouraging me, changing their schedules, etc. It really is a relief to work with such great people.

So - hopefully tomorrow afternoon I will be on my way to pcola to spend some quality time with mom. =)

The Reality of Life

2009-04-13T17:57:00.002-05:00

It seems these really are dark days. I know the end times are coming...but I have no idea if they are tomorrow or 1000 years from now. God's timing is all His own, and He doesn't usually let us in on it.

This past 'Good' Friday, some dear friends of mine lost their baby boy. There was a knot in his umbilical cord and there was nothing that could be done to prevent it. They have 2 very precious little girls and Landon was their first boy. Chatting with them through facebook the past few months, I could see how excited they were. This family is not immune to tragedy - they have had several other heartbreaks in their young lives. I've watched them since I first met them and they seem to walk through these times very much like Jesus...they weep, they mourn, but they keep going...all the while leading others to the Father. I am truly encouraged by them...and I pray that the Father will comfort them and encourage them and love them - and that they would feel it.

I have other friends who have lost their jobs. It isn't unheard of in this economy - but it still hurts. I wish I could do something practical for them. It wasn't all that long ago that I had lost a job - I still remember the uneasy feeling. And it still reminds me to be thankful for the job I do have. No one is safe during these times - we are not guaranteed tomorrow - not with our lives and not with our jobs.

There's a professor and his wife from seminary who were hit by a car walking across the street. He is recovering slowly...and she is still in a coma, although making progress. And a friend of mine at work had a severe accident just before Christmas...the amazing little things like walking with a cane instead of a wheelchair are great joys for him and his family.

I have other friends who have been through their own difficulties - national disasters, destroyed church buildings, and yet they still press on - hopeful and diligent in the task God has called them to. My prayer for them would be a smooth road ahead...but we know all too well that that is highly unlikely. We grow more when the road has more twists and turns in it. I also find that it's kinda boring if you do the same thing every day...smooth sailing. (Although...once in a while it's a nice break).

Through all the dark things in our lives - there is hope.

Christ is risen - a feat that was unimagineable. And because Christ has defeated death, there is nothing that can defeat us.

My heart goes out to all of those who are hurting in one way or another. I have seen members of the 'church' being the church...I only hope and pray that we continue - even more so - to be the hands and feet. This is when it counts.

Hooray?!?!

2009-04-07T18:21:00.002-05:00

I've talked a lot about my parents in this and other blogs. My family has always been very important to me - and never more so than right now.

I've prayed for both of my parents - my dad for his salvation and his behaviors. My mom for all that she has had to endure and for freedom.

The time has finally come.

My mom went down to the courthouse today and filed the papers.

When my sister told me, I was in shock. I just can't believe it. They've been married 46 years - been together for 51 years...and most of that time they've both been miserable. The last 12 years I've been aware of their problems...and it's been difficult to sit by and love them both - but watch them suffer so much.

There will still be a lot for them - my dad hasn't been served yet. My mom has packed a bag and gone someplace safe. There will more than likely be fallout from all of this, and I am concerned about her safety. So - please pray for them. It's going to be a rough time for both of them - but I honestly believe this will be the beginning of freedom for both.

An Opportunity

2009-04-06T15:37:00.001-05:00

There's a new opportunity. I have no idea if it's something that will work out. I'm praying. There are a lot of factor's.

Distance, funds, time, peace, family, car, weather, friends, etc.

Once again...

2009-03-26T17:57:00.001-05:00

It could only happen to me. =)

The very lovely lady from the apartment complex called me a couple of hours ago. It seems the person whose apartment I was moving into's loan application fell through for a house. It doesn't look like he will be moving out afterall.

Where does that put me? Well...relatively homeless on April 19th.

Yeah...goodtimes.

I know it will all work out - and quite possibly it'll be even better the 2nd time around...but geez...does there always have to be something?

And just what exactly is God trying to say????

It's way past due...

2009-03-25T15:26:00.004-05:00

What on earth? My life is crazy and there's so much going on...I can't seem to catch up enough to blog about it. So...here's the quick versions...I hope.

I didn't get my hair cut by the new person. She had to go to the doctor and I had to get on the road. Thankfully - the woman who cuts my hair in pcola will be there for another year...so went to her that weekend. I'm trying out some bangs...I've had them before...not really quite sure what I think about them right now. Some days I like them..others...well...we'll just have to wait.

My birthday weekend at home was fun. All of my family members behaved themselves...except my oldest nephew. I stayed at my parents house -the first time since I moved out into Erin's house several years ago now. I think it helped that I had both Claire and Katie with me. Claire was a pistol. Hilarious and into EVERYTHING. She has a problem with taking things that don't belong to her. She really doesn't understand that some things are just not hers. So - we're working on it. Oh - and thankfully - she is fully potty trained!!! No accidents either!

Katie and Claire on the slides

The girls and I spent lots of quality time together. Katie and I played UNO for what seemed like a million hands. Unfortunately, it was the only game at my mom's except a really old monopoly game that I'm sure is missing half the stuff. Claire and I played endless games of CandyLand...my sister is definitely getting me back for playing it with me when I was little. The three of us walked in the morning and then played at the park until it started to downpour. Then we headed to the mall for my haircut. Claire had fun on some of the rides at the mall. She cracks me up.

Katie peeling potatoes for dinner

When we got back to the house, Katie got started making us lunch...well...it turned into an early dinner. I'm so impressed - she made meatloaf, mashed potatoes and corn - all by herself. And it was all pretty tasty. I don't think she'll ever be a chef...I just don't see her doing that for a job - but I can totally see her cooking just because she loves it. She's not afraid to try something different. The girls and I were going to try to go bowling, but when we got there they were packed...so...we went and had ice cream instead. =) I think that was a pretty fair trade.

We had planned on going to church in the morning, but I was up most of the night talking with my sister about my oldest nephew and trying to help out with him. It seems he got into a bit of trouble Saturday afternoon, and was brought home in a sheriff's car. Nice. Later that night, he ran away. He did come back late Sunday night. All this is getting a little old if you ask me. All I can think to do is pray for him. He is letting his life spin out of control - and no one can help.

So - Katie and I tried to sleep in - Claire reminded me that the sun is up, so we needed to be up. Oh well. We had pizza and birthday cake...and Claire had a ball opening her presents. Almost all of my family was there - and probably the first time in years when we were together like that. It was so nice, not only to be together, but for there not to be major drama. (Fred was of course the exception)

Claire and I blowing out the candles =)

I said all my goodbyes and headed to Milton to meet some fabulous friends for dinner. Erin, Danny, Amy, Bryan and Rob met me at Texas Roadhouse and we had a great time catching up. I sometimes forget how much I really do miss them. Danny may be coming up to work on a job soon, so that means Erin may be making some visits. I can't wait!

I got home pretty late and the week started off with a bang. It's crazy busy around here. The symphony has already started renewals and we are finalizing our season info. I also came to my breaking point with the house and finally made a plan to find an apartment. So...April 11th - I get the keys to my new, tiny, 1 bedroom apartment. It's smaller and more expensive, but it's in a better part of town, there's an alarm, it's run by a great company, it has a pool and gym access...and all that random stuff. The pros outweigh the cons. I'm hoping to really be able to get some rest. I never really understood how your home surroundings really do affect you.

For those wondering...I've still been drinking water...but lately I haven't been drinking as much...and I can tell a difference. So, I'm trying to take it up a notch. I did give coke up for Lent though...and I miss it! But I'm trying to be patient and faithful...Easter is almost here after all. =)

I've been walking/running lately too. Mostly walking...and I found my own set of crazy stairs...not quite like Terah's in Nashville...but tough all the same. I'm pretty surprised at how many miles I can actually do - some walking, some running, some stairs...it definitely makes me feel better. Although I'm discovering that I really need some new tunes on my ipod. The music selection is getting a bit lame.

Oh - and did I mention that I will actually be in one place for at least a month! No trips for me. I'm spending all my money on moving and such.

So - that's the majority of the updates. Not very fun...but very busy. =)

Danger - Scissors Ahead

2009-03-12T19:59:00.002-05:00

That's what I feel like right now...

Tomorrow I'm heading for a hair cut. It's really just a trim, but it always sends shivers down my spine...it might as well be a cut for locks of love. (which if I never colored my hair I would totally do)

I don't usually have very good results...especially with new people. My mom used to take me to the woman who cut/styled her hair. (she continues to style all the grandmothers for a 10 block radius) I remember one dance - in middle school where she permed it and then 'styled' it. I swear - you'd think I was in an 80's rock video - and it was the 90's!

A few years later...the same type of thing happened...I went home and washed my hair and started over...and actually - that same story repeated itself for many years. One day I'll get around to posting all the pictures...when I'm brave enough to let you see them.

I had a few snafoo's in college - but none was so dramatic as the one that occurred during finals week. It was bad...so bad you wouldn't believe it! I hadn't slept in a couple of days - in fact that morning - at 7:55, I finished a 20 page paper just in time to turn it in at 8. Lack of sleep is always a good reason to not get something done to your hair.

But I 'needed' to. I couldn't get in to see the AMAZING Rosemary and so I thought I'd chance it. I went to the place that ended up not being so 'fantastic'. I asked for a cut - and also decided on getting hilights. Well...there are a few things I've learned over the years - number 1 - it's not the best idea to cut thin/fine hair with a razor. It makes non-existent hair - comepletely gone. It also wasn't a good idea for color choice...let's just say that my hair was YELLOW! From dark blonde to YELLOW!!!!! And GONE!!!!

I was shocked - I ran out of there - raced back to the dorm, hoping to sneak in - so no one would see me. Fear ripped through me as I saw a ton of people on the front steps of the dorm - waiting for their dinner. I called my friend Jodie and begged her to bring me down a hat...I couldn't look at anyone as I walked past...I just couldn't.

Once in my room - I burst into tears - sobbing tears. I took a long shower - scrubbing and scrubbing and scrubbing my hair - to no avail. It was still YELLOW. We made a run to wal-mart and found some darker color that I thought might help. What was the worst that could happen? All my hair fall out? Nah - it was close to that anyway. We dyed my hair and I do have to say - it was better...but I was still devasted. It took forever for my hair to outgrow it. Needless to say, I did receive a bit of a scolding from Rosemary...and not the kind that you might think...it was one of those I wish you hadn't done this and I don't really know what I will be able to do to fix your hair...and please don't ever try this again...and I really can't believe you did this...all with her eyes. I never felt so embarrassed or guilty in all my life. And she is the sweetest person on the planet!

When I moved back to Pcola, I found a friend who unfortunately was just too expensive for me. I LOVED what he could do with my hair...but I just couldn't afford it. Then Erin introduced me to 'Janet'. Janet is great...she's cheap...and she understands how to cut my fine/thin hair. When I moved to Bham, I thought it would be permanent, so I tried to find someone there...resulting in a hatchet job on my hair. I've been growing it out ever since - and only getting it cut by Janet when I go home.

But alas...Janet will soon be leaving and I don't really know if I can wait between visits anymore to have my hair cut. So...I've done a little bit of research...I'm timidly going to have someone else cut my hair tomorrow.

It's just going to be a trim. And I don't really want her to do anything spiffy. I just want a trim. No more than half an inch...and even that may be too much. I'm petrified.

Since I'm going home this weekend, I figure if she does a hatchet job on me, I can get Janet to fix it - and then I'll just start all over...oh, but I hope she's wonderful. She does the hair for all the wives of our tech crew...and she's very reasonable. So...pray for me. And my hair.

I'll update when I can. Hopefully it will be just fine. That's what I'm praying for.

I need it to be fine.

So Far Behind

2009-03-11T11:27:00.003-05:00

I know I am so far behind...and it seems that I keep getting further and further. I guess that's what happens in life. I have about 3 blogs that I've started - Mardi Gras and all that fun stuff...I just haven't had the time to finish them...but I will...someday. =)

I did want to drop a line and let those of you who for some reason faithfully check in every day or every other day. Life is good...a little chaotic...but good. I'm heading to Pcola to celebrate mine and my niece's birthday this weekend! It's a very last minute trip - and I'm so excited to go - we haven't really celebrated the last 2 years so this will be kind of special...my whole family might actually be together...Mom, dad, sister, kids, me...maybe even Nana. You know there will be a few stories there. =)

I have to say - I feel so blessed to share my birthday with Claire. She really is precious - and I love the other kids just as much - but this is a fun bond that we can share. The same was true with my mom's parents...my grandfather's birthday was the day before mine, and my grandmother's (who I'm named after) was two days after mine...so...in true family tradition...we will always be close. I'm sure of it. =)

Here's a picture of Claire and I from her the morning she was born. I was lucky enough to be with my sister when she came into the world. Four years later...

Thankful for a Job

2009-02-27T22:42:00.003-06:00

I am fully aware that some of you are waiting on my recap of last weekend, but that really must wait. It has been a week.

It's a really good thing that I came back to work on Tuesday. We have our normal staff meeting on Tuesday mornings and my executive director asked me to meet him in his office with my boss. It was explained to me that some major changes were coming and that I needed to cut my staff back by at least 50%. The deadline to bring him my proposal was this morning.

I lost a lot of sleep over this. It breaks my heart to have to cut people back - and to try to determine who to give what hours to is just awful! I also have to enforce some other requirements - like for my assistant to really be in the office when I need her to be there. Especially now.

Thankfully, everyone I've spoken to about it has been great! They understand that this definitely wasn't my decision, and they're basically thankful to not be completely laid off. My department isn't the only one affected by the coming changes. Every department except development and marketing are being cut. Several people have lost their jobs and next week we'll find out what else is being cut. I'm pretty sure that I'll be losing some benefits. =(

It means a lot more work for most of us...but I'm just thankful that I have a job. I find it relatively ironic that this past Monday was a year from when I lost my job in Bham. My heart breaks for those who have lost their jobs. I know what they're feeling and I can't imagine trying to find work in this economy. It was hard enough a year ago!

So - while I'm fine...my job is relatively secure...and I'll make it through all the extra work...I can still use some prayer.

On another note...I've made some huge decisions...but I'm so completely exhausted that I'm gonna get some sleep and hopefully tomorrow I can catch up with everything else.

Peace out.

Happy Mardi Gras!

2009-02-24T11:44:00.003-06:00

AHHH!!!! It feels like forever since I was able to blog - or catch up on other people's blogs. I have so much time to make up!

Unfortunately - I don't have any time to write a real blog, or even catch up on everyone else's. But I just couldn't let today go by without saying...Laissez les Bon Temps roulette!

For those that have no idea what I just wrote.."Let the good times roll!" And did they ever this past weekend. =) I have tons of pictures and plenty of last minute stops along the way.

I LOVE being able to travel and visit all my friends. And there are still so many more that I need to see!

Until I have time...

Lots Going On

2009-02-12T18:04:00.002-06:00

I know I'm usually much better at updating. I had an interesting 'excursion' this past weekend. I traveled a little south, encountered some art, and architecture as well as peanuts. I'll post some pictures later.

The really exciting thing that has been keeping me busy is I've been getting in touch with some of my extended family members. Because of my dad being in the military our family was never very close with my cousins and second cousins. I actually have quite a few of them. There's a few that I got to meet when I was about 5 and we'd see some of them every few years. Around the age of 13, there were some major events that caused not only friction, but just uneasiness. And since then - we've all scattered.

Recently I've been thinking about my cousins. We really weren't a part of the 'stuff' going on, and I don't see any reason why we shouldn't be family. I think it's sad that I pretty much only have my sister and her 4 kids in my life. Thankfully - I was able to track down one cousin - and we've started talking and catching up. It's been 17 years since I saw her - so we had lots to chat about. I'm planning on making a visit to see her very soon! I really can't wait!

I'm also seriously looking at going back to school. Financially - the best option is probably Troy University. There's a campus here, and there's also one in Pcola, if I should end up moving back there first. My degree program would obviously change - and since it's been more than 10 years since I started my college experience, I'm sure there are some hoops I'll need to jump through. But - if my sister can do it after 20 + years - I know I can! I'd really much rather go back to NOBTS, but we'll just have to see where and how God directs me.

With all the water I've been drinking - I feel at times as if I were going to just naturally float. I started drinking to 'kick' my coke habit - and even though I haven't completely succeeded - I am at least 95% better than I used to be. That being said, I feel as if I'm starting to focus in and stick to things. So - this past week, I went to my very first weight watcher's meeting. I was excited to go - but as I learned more about the program...I'm a little more apprehensive. There's a lot of planning. A LOT. It really would be a lifestyle change for me. But, I know that if I can stick to it - and make the changes, I will be much healthier. But I'll tell you - yesterday - and today for that matter, were very difficult. I paid for a month - and I'm going to try my best - even with a road trip and Mardi Gras involved.

I went to the doctor today. It was supposed to be just a general follow-up, but it turns out that not only do I have a sinus infection, but also an ear infection! Yikes! I also have this little pocket on the back of my throat that's been there for several months. They've done a couple of cultures and they say I test negative for strep. So...now she's referring me to an ENT. My sister said wouldn't it be just like me - who's never smoked a cigarette to get throat cancer. HA! If they diagnose me with that, they'll have to pick me up off the floor from laughing so hard. So - i'm on antibiotics and stuff, and shortly I'll have an appt. with the ENT. Good Times. =)

This weekend I have to focus on cleaning and packing at the house! YIKES! I also have to go get one of those converter boxes. happy happy joy joy. Next week, we have several shows and we're working on some marketing concepts - trying to get butts in the seats, so it'll be a busy week. Plus...I'll be headed to NOLA for Mardi Gras!!! WooHoo! I haven't been for a few years, and it's always fun. My first year I made a sign that said 'This is my 1st Mardi Gras!' I came home with a BAG full of goodies. NOLA Mardi Gras parades are so much better than pcola - or any others that I've been to really. But, it is an enourmous amount of people. I think I might plan a little 'Mardi Gras' for the office, since I'll be coming back to work on Fat Tuesday. Some King Cake is definitely in order. mmm...I can taste it already.

So...that's my life in a nutshell. Oh - and I really need to buy some new tires...preferably this weekend so I can drive around in them a bit before the major road trip. Guess we'll see how that goes. =)

Anyway - peace out!

2009-02-04T16:51:00.003-06:00

It's been a nice few days. Last week was a little busy, and this week we've been able to be more relaxed and laid back. Tonight is clean sheet night!!! Woohoo! I'm even more excited than normal since it's sooo cold out. This way, I'll have taken a nice, hot shower and put nice warm sheets on my bed - just in time to crawl under them and be toasty!

While it's been a great week to catch up - it's also a little sad. One of our tech guys' father passed away yesterday morning. He had cancer - but had only known for a few weeks. I think - with all of the progress we've made in the medical field, I forget that cancer is still serious, and that it can hit quickly. It's been almost 15 years since my best friend died within a few days of finding out she had cancer. The funeral is tomorrow and I anticipate most everyone will make the drive.

Still drinking the water. Woo. I'm not all that excited about it these days. Yesterday I most definitely enjoyed my two cokes. And that whole idea of water quenching your thirst is nuts. I drink more now than I ever did!

I realized today that my hair is really getting long. It's really been FOREVER since it was this long. I really think this is the longest it's been since I was in elementary school. That makes me happy! I never thought I'd be able to get to this point. Thankfully it's still in good shape (no split ends, etc.) So I've got plenty of time before I need to get it trimmed. Part of me wants to cut it all off though...but I'm resisting the urge. We know what happens when I decide something 'spontaneously' about my hair.

There's a really great chance that I will be visiting NOLA for Mardi Gras!! I missed it the last few years and I feel the need for some 'parading'. You really just can't celebrate Mardi Gras in any other place than south Louisiana. I also feel the need for some king cake. It's super expensive to have it delivered - but...it will be sooooo worth it!

Ok...lots to do at the house tonight. Hope ya'll are having lots of fun!

Water Update

2009-01-29T13:29:00.002-06:00

I just wanted to let you all know that I'm still keeping up with this water thing. My kidneys are probably very thankful - my bladder on the other hand - it's a little overreactive. =) I suppose that I really was so dehydrated that my tiny bladder never seemed to affect me - but now - WHOOSH! I can't wait for it to even out.

I also just heard that you're supposed to drink the amount of ounces that equals half your body weight. So - if you weigh 100lbs - you should drink 50 oz. I'm not going to say what I should be drinking...but dang it! I don't know that I can drink THAT much water.

I also noticed that I make different choices based on what I'm going to drink. For instance - I'm not about to drink a hamburger and french fries with water. That just ruins the whole thing. So - if I'm really intent on drinking the water, then I'll have some soup or a sandwhich or something along those lines.

Could this seriously be a real change? I never imagined that I would really stick to it - but I've been working at it almost a month. That's totally a God thing. Did I tell ya that I went 48 hours without a coke? I did have coffee - but that still left me with a day and a half of nothing but water. I haven't bought any coke for the house - so the only time I drink it is if I'm out - which definitely helps when I would be tempted to just have one anyway. Of course - it also sucks that when I 'need' one - I have to get out and go get one. Which, hasn't really happened, thankfully.

Who knows...maybe I will totally give it up one day.......NAH!

Another Trip Home

2009-01-27T15:36:00.003-06:00

My trip home was great as it most often is. I got into town just in time to meet some friends for dinner at Olive Garden. =) I love Olive Garden and I hadn't been since my birthday last year, so it was great. Soup and salad (although it was $10.00!)

After dinner I headed to my sister's overly chaotic house. There's always something going on there. =) Both my nephews were gone for the night - but my two nieces were there. It was so much! Earlier in the day I talked on the phone with Claire. After 17 years of nephews and nieces, I learned never tell them something that might not happen. And, as we know with me, something is bound to happen when I least expect it - so I didn't tell her I was coming into town. the look on her face when I walked into the bedroom was priceless. You could see the wheels turning in her head. She was like...I talked to you today...and now you're here...but you're not supposed to be here...but you are here. Then she ran up and gave me a big hug. =) Good times. I'm telling you - no matter what kind of day you've had, or how tired you are - if you get a hug from a kid - it can make it all better. =)

We all hung out and then about 1:00 I remembered that I had my driving class early in the morning. haha. I'm sooo not a morning person. So...I went to bed and took Claire with me. (yes...I know a 3 year old should not be up at 1am...but at least I put her in bed then. And FYI - for all those that read this blog, and whose numbers I happen to have in my phone whom she just happened to call and text message...I'm sooo sorry!

My alarm went off...and I kept snoozing it. Up until about 7:30. Class was at 8. I had just enough time to throw some clothes on, wash my face, brush my teeth and drive across town.

Now let me just say...I know there are lots of places where you can bring your animals to work. I could do it in Bham...but really...I walked up to the glass door and there was an all black, standard sized poodle. He was beautiful. The guy leading the class was a little 'kookie'. I did however about have a heart attack when I realized that I might not have my driver's license. How can I go to a driving class without my license????? But I found it - whew!

About 20 minutes in, I was dying - there was a coke in my future - that's for sure! It was part video, part additional information provided by our fearless leader. He also decided to teach us some psychology - parent/child/adult. The class was painless enough - and for $25 it was worth it to be done with it.

Since I knew most of my close friends were going to be busy, I was able to make plans with people I don't see very often. In fact - my friend Tiffany and I haven't seen each other in probably 5 years! So crazy. It was great to spend a couple of hours with her, catching up. It's amazing when you sit back and realize where God has brought you in a specific period of time.

I then went and had a real, authentic new mexican dinner with my friends Angel and Amanda. We've all been friends for over 10 years...wow...definitely showing my age. We've had a very interesting friendship and again - it is really amazing to look at the testimony we all have.

BTW - did you know that Starbucks closes at 10:30????? What in the world? No wonder pcola is dying. There's no where to go that you can't get into trouble. I went back to my sister's and we hung out again for half the night. She makes me laugh. I'm so thankful for her - I know I don't tell her enough - but I really am. We talked a little about our parents, as we often do, she hates the things I've had to go through, and I hate the things she's had to go through. They're very different, but we've both come out stronger because of it. I'm not quite sure where we got that 'fighter' instinct - but I'm glad we do.

Sunday was early...not really by the clock...but by my body. Ugh. church was ok and then I had lunch with Erin and Amy. It was nice to catch up with the girls, even if it was for just a bit. I went back to the house and hung out with the kids for a little while. I miss them. Tons and tons! Katie has All County tonight, and I hate that I can't be there. Last year I was able to drive down for the night - but I just can't do it this time. I know she'll be fabulous.

The drive home took forever. I forgot to do something so I had to turn around and back-track - and then I was getting tired so I stopped for coffee and a muffin. I did see a ton of deer though. That was crazy - they were just standing on the side of the road.

Cutting back on the cokes has lowered my resistance for caffeine. I'm sure of it. I was up until 4am! YIKES! I wasn't horribly tired during the day though, so that was good.

And now it's back to work. This isn't the busiest week, but there is a lot going on - if that makes sense. We do have a show this weekend that I'm looking forward to. One of the few that we've done here - so that's happy.

Oh - and tomorrow my assistant is in a songwriting contest. A bunch of us are going to listen and cheer her on. It should be fun - to hang out with people from work, but away from work.

Anyway - I'm gonna run. There's more to post, but that will have to wait for another day.

A simple Conversation

2009-01-23T10:06:00.003-06:00

Ring...

Me: "Thank you for calling (work)...this is Jennifer...how may I help you?"

Them: "I need the prices for Drumline" (or whatever show they're looking for)

Me: "They are $39.00, $36.00 and $29.00"

Them: "What's that?"

Me: "The prices?"

Them: "Oh..yeah. What are they again."

Me: "$39.00, $36.00 and $29.00"

Them: "Wait a minute. I need to write this down."

Me: "Sure." (Thinking in my head, if you're going to call someone and ask them something, don't you think you'd have been ready to write it down in the first place. But yes...we are in Georgia.)

Them: "Ok, gimme them prices again." (not a typo - I promise)

Me: "They are $39.00......$36.00.....and $29.00."

Them: "What about them $10.00 tickets?"

Me: "I'm sorry ma'am, we don't have any tickets that are $10.00."

Them: "I just saw a commercial for that show where they dance...it said there were $10.00 tickets."

Me: "You mean R.K. Brown? Yes ma'am, we have $10.00 tickets for that show, but not for Drumline."

Them: "Why not?"

Me: (are you serious? Am I being punked...it's too early for this.) "I'm sorry ma'am. Each event is different and has different parameters." (yes...I realize I said parameters to someone that has quite probably never heard that word before...but I didn't think about it before I said it)

Them: "What kind of pairs do you have?"

Me: "I'm sorry?"

Them: "You said pairs of meters....what kinds of pairs are there?

Me: (how do I get myself out of this?) "I'm sorry ma'am - that's not what I meant. Every show is different and we have different rules to go by. The rules tell us what kind of prices we have to charge." (yes...I did just pass the buck)

Them: "oh"

Silence

Them: "What are them prices for Drumline again?"

Me: "$39.00, $36.00 and $29.00"

Them: "ok. Thanks."

Me: "You're welcome. Have a nice day."

Click.

I really....really couldn't make this stuff up....no matter how hard I tried.

What Does All This Mean?

2009-01-22T09:38:00.003-06:00

So - with the culmination of the majority of the friends I talk to on a regular basis, either being in a relationship, or having a baby, I feel the need to expound on my opinions. Ha! These are of course, just my opinions, and don't really affect one person more or less than another.

It could certainly have to do with the fact that I haven't met 'the one'. Or even one that could maybe be 'the one'. I've met some very nice guys, and ones who I've considered being in a relationship with - but they've never quite been 'right'. So - perhaps I'm a little cynical, without meaning to be.

I fully believe in love - and feel most assuredly that I will someday meet someone that I myself will be head over heels for. I know that that is a desire of my heart and that as long as my desires and God's desires for me line up - then it will happen.

What I can't understand, or grasp, is how two relatively sane, intelligent, socially relevant people, can meet, and spend a short amount of time together and then decide that this is 'the one'. I am well aware that I have some commit phobic issues, but I still can't see myself ready to cuddle and make-out with someone 1, or 2 weeks, or even a month of dating someone. I feel like that's crazy.

When working with youth, and even talking with my niece, I've always encouraged them to take it slow. You have the rest of your life to be with someone, if they're the right one. Why rush it? Why wouldn't I take the same advice myself? Wouldn't that be hypocrisy? I know the argument some people use is that 'you're older now'. I know I'm 30 - but that doesn't really mean anything, me. Every relationship is new and young.

I'm a huge fan of the 4 season dating. You know...where you date for at least 4 seasons...fall, winter, spring and summer. Did you see the movie, 'Fever Pitch'. It was cute - and I love Drew Barrymore, but the idea behind it is so true. They were great in the fall and the winter...but as soon as spring training arrived...everything was different. Of course, there was a happy ending...but that's not always the case.

There are tons of people that I know who meet, date, get engaged and married - all within less than a year. Some within less than 6 months! YIKES!

I am a lot more relaxed in the summer - work is not as busy, my schedule is more normal and I have more time off. The fall and winter my hours go crazy. There are never two days in the row that are the same. Someone who likes me in the summer, might not like me in the winter. And vice-versa.

What about going through the changes of life? Most people have something major happen to them about once a year. Not the same time of year or anything - but there's usually something major - car troubles, job troubles, finances, family, loss...etc. Wouldn't you want to know how that person deals with that before deciding - yep - this one's a keeper?

Don't get me wrong - I absolutely love my friends. And because of that, I'm protective of them. I want the very best for them, and I certainly don't want to see them hurt. But I also know that part of living is being vulnerable. And sometimes you do get hurt - and you learn from that - and hopefully move on.

So to sum it all up - I'm extremely thrilled for my friends. I'm cautious - because that's my nature - but I am exstatic for them. Some of them are the happiest I've seen them in ages...and my prayer is that they continue seeking God in their relationships and listen to Him most of all.

It makes me wonder...will I be goofy and mushy myself when that day comes? Or will I continue to be reserved and cautious. Only time will tell. =)

Joshua 1:9

2009-01-21T15:28:00.003-06:00

It's been an interesting week. It always seems to be interesting. There's nothing ever not interesting. Some crisis is always under way, or God is in the process of refining me, or blessing me, or I'm traveling, or I'm really busy at work, or I'm moving, or I'm dealing with squirrels, or a combination of all the above.

Years ago I heard something that seemed so simple and so profound at the same time.

"Normal is a setting on a dryer."

It's kind of become my life's mantra. (Even though I never imagined I'd have a mantra.)

It's the silly part of my life. It's what makes me laugh when life crowds in around me. It'll probably be the title of a book I someday write.

But it really doesn't do anything for me. Sure it reminds me that there really is never a normal - but that doesn't encourage me, or challenge me, or discipline me.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and couragious. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

Now that encourages me. It gives me a peace in the midst of trials, a feeling of comfort when the world is caving in on top of me and reminds me that there is nothing to fear. No matter where I go, God is with me. Even when I make the wrong decision, when I sin, when I don't trust in Him. He will walk with me.

It also challenges me. Be strong, be couragious, be brave. Those are not characteristics that I display easily. My human nature would be that I am weak, that I am afraid. But God calls me to something more than my natural self. God knows that sin gets in the way, that I am weak, but He knows that I can be strong. I can be couragious! I just need to let go of my fears and trust Him.

This verse also disciplines me. "Have I not commanded you?" There is no other answer than God knew me so well that He would have to call me out - remind me of what He's already told me. God's like - I've already told you this. It's a command, not a choice.

So while the 'normal is a setting on the dryer' reflects things that happen in my life - Joshua 1:9 reflects me - and my relationship with God. It's a verse that was given to me years ago when I first agreed to go on a summer mission trip...and just before I found out that God was sending me to Montana. haha.

And He has proved faithful over and over and over the years. It's the love and faithfulness He has shown me that has sustained me - and will continue to sustain me. I'm so thankful for His word. I know that He is in everything that He created - and when I put the world aside and just focus on His creation, I see Him - but His word is something I can see and hide in my heart that helps further our relationship.

Where would we be without His word?

More Blasts from the Past

2009-01-19T16:47:00.002-06:00

Ah yes...if you had told me this would happen - I would never have believed it. I am now 'friends' on facebook with my high school band director.

Now I have these visions (one might call them nightmares) of the torture we all endured. "Squeeze the Grape!" "Roll your step" "Death eating a cracker"

The long, hot hours on the driver's ed range. The awful wool uniforms and the time half of our band passed out.

Yep - lots of memories.

But they're all good.

Amazing how such a 'difficult' and 'pressed' time in your life can be good. I guess that's all part of the refining process.

Father to the Fatherless

2009-01-16T17:23:00.002-06:00

Sing to God, sing praise to his name, extol him who rides on the clouds—his name is the LORD—and rejoice before him. A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, he leads forth the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.

I love reading through the book of Psalm and today I came across this passage. I honestly felt it in my gut. I'm not fatherless - I have a dad. And it's the dad that God chose for me. I sometimes wonder what exactly I was/am supposed to learn from him. I didn't see him the entire time I was home for Christmas.

My parents had been married for 11 years when they got divorced. 6 months later, my mother remarried him. They had 2 children, and she was certain it was the right thing to do. 3 years later, she found out that she was pregnant with me - and since she'd already had 2 kids, and they were both almost teenagers, she left the decision whether or not to have me up to my dad. I'm very thankful that they chose not to abort me.

And I've gone on through my life with that knowledge. That knowing that there's not a question that I was supposed to be here.

And then recently, my niece, my 13 year old niece, told me that right before my mom discovered she was pregnant with me - she had planned to divorce my dad a 2nd time.

I talked with my sister about it and she confirmed the story. She wasn't quite sure how Katie had come into that information, but I'm sure it stems from the time she spends with my mom and since my mom usually talks about my dad...it was bound to come out.

Over the past few weeks I have battled satan on this issue. If I had not been born, my parents would have been divorced. I'm sure that my mother would have been able to make a new life, and she would be content - not depressed and angry and sad and lonely. And perhaps my dad would have been forced to become a man and to deal with his issues. Their lives might be much happier and content - my dad might have even been led to the Lord through all of it.

I just don't know. And that's what eats at me.

I know that abortion should never be our choice. God has created every living being and it's His discretion whether that child is conceived. Our sin gets in the way. Our sin clouds the focus of the true plan. If my parents had chosen abortion, I would not be here typing - and that blows my mind. So - the very fact that I am here, typing, means that at some point in their lives - they made the correct choices.

My mother chose to bring a child into the world who - based on her own experience with watching my dad interact with his other two daughters - she knew that I would not receive the love, attention and guiding that fathers should give daughters. She made the decision to stay with him because she thought that was best for me and my sisters.

I can't really tell you if it was better that I had a dad physically there while I was growing up. I don't know what it's like if he weren't, and I don't know what it would have been like if he had been there emotionally and spiritually.

A friend of mine put on his status last night that he was holding back tears b/c he had been singing and playing his guitar and one of his little girls was dancing around to the worship song. I was sincerely jealous - but in a good way. I know those girls will have a father that will love and protect them.

I was talking with a friend earlier today who helped reminded me that I AM here for a purpose. God does have a plan for my life - and He had one from before the beginning of my conception.

And since He has such a plan for me - I know and I remind myself that the plan included being raised by my parents. And it reminds me to look to Him for all the things 'missing' in my life.

When I dance and sing a worship song - my Father is smiling and holding back tears.

OOPS

2009-01-16T15:30:00.003-06:00

So - most of my friends/family know that I am just a little bit of a procrastinator. It's really not intentional, most of the time, but I do tend to let things wait until the last minute. Even today - I've kind of piddled around and I could have gotten a lot more done by now.

Well....remember a couple of months ago when I went to traffic court? The end result was that if I went to traffic school, they would dismiss the ticket. I have until the 28th of this month (I think) to complete that.

Oh...what's today? The 16th??????!!!!! YIKES!

So I called today to check on it. Turns out - I can take the class anywhere I am...except online.

So - that means that I will have to sit in a classroom for between 4 and 8 hours. Gee...sounds like fun! So I began investigating. Georgia charges $75.00 - and it's an 8 hour class. But, since I don't have a Georgia license, it probably isn't the best idea. So, I started looking around Alabama - even the county where I got the ticket. Turns out there really aren't any driving schools. So, I looked in Pcola - which is where my license is anyway. Thankfully there's a $25.00 class for 4 hours - next Saturday.

So...looks like I'll be making a little trip home to pcola next weekend. I'm kinda glad as I was starting to feel a little homesick for my friends and family. Yeah - I know it's only been a couple weeks - but still.

Oh - and did I mention that my class is at 8am...ugh. Oh well - that leaves the rest of the day for me to play! =)

You'd think this would help me remember NOT to procrastinate...yeah...I don't think it will make a difference.

TGIF

2009-01-16T13:31:00.003-06:00

Yes - Thank Goodness It's Friday!!!!

I still have a show tomorrow night, but it also means I get to sleep in tomorrow morning, and...Monday morning. I'm so thankful for the few holidays that we get. They make this night owl a very happy sleeper.

The crazy board meeting is over and while the pulling of reports to make spreadsheets is over for the immediate future, I anticipate a good deal more in the future. We're making some financial changes and I am implementing some marketing/cash flow trend watching. It's a little tough to get it up and running, but once it is, it will provide us with valuable information.

I also am about to start working on next year's season events. I have a meeting with the symphony in a couple of weeks and I'm sure I'll find out what we're doing very soon as well.

I'm still drinking that horrid water. Not as much as I need to - but just about all I can stand for now. I think I pee every two hours - it's really become a little inconvenient. I can say though...as shocking as it may sound...the water doesn't taste 'that bad' anymore. I'm not quite sure that I can go to drinking only water for the rest of my life - especially since I am still addicted to my coke - but, it's a start. This morning I had some fru-fru coffee. It was 23 degrees...and I needed something to warm me up. So - I had my lunch with only water. Wasn't the best - but I know it was better for me. yada yada yada.

FYI - remember when I said it was 23 degrees this morning? (that was at 10:00!) I really wish I had my camera for what I saw - a woman got out of her car heading to the court house - in a strapless wedding dress and veil! Now, it's not really the fact that she was in a wedding dress - but that she was in one without any type of coat or wrap or anything - at 23 degrees!!!! What - is she from the North Pole?

Craziness.

Because it's a little on the cold side, I've been running my heat at a higher temperature - it definitely doesn't stay very warm in my house. I'm afraid to see my bill next month. I'm really ok with cold weather - but not these below freezing temps.

By the way, Facebook cracks me up. Seriously - where else can have a 2 day conversation about whether or not carrot juice is better than starbucks. (all normal people know the answer to that!)

Gotta jet...

'leavin' on a jet plane...don't know when I'll be back again....' (yeah...now the tune is stuck in your head...hehehehehe)

Life...

2009-01-13T20:23:00.002-06:00

Life is amazing some days. For no reason than the fact that I'm forgiven. Just had to put that out there.

Work has been a little crazy and tense. We have a board meeting this week and we've all been scurrying around trying to pull reports and put together spreadsheets for our board members that will help them understand just where exactly we are financially. This economic slump reaches out to everyone and I'm actually thankful that they're taking an interest. The board meeting is Thursday, and I wish I could say that'll be the end of it - but I doubt it. Ah...good times.

An update about water...yeah..as I predicted, the weekend didn't go too great. It wasn't awful - but there is much room for improvement. Monday I found myself at work with no cups, and no water bottles, and didn't go to lunch until after 4:00...so...I did what every other addicted american does...I succumbed to my addiciton and had a coke to tied me through to lunch. But today I made sure to bring my own cup and the only coke I've had was with my lunch - and I'm still drinking that lovely, yummy water. (I wonder if I tell myself that enough, if I'll actually get to a point where I believe it!)

I came across something yesterday that just made me giddy. And if I could find a video of it, or add it to my music player at the bottom, I would definitely torture you with it. But, since I can't - I'll just send you on a google spree like me and find - 'Jennifer Johnson and me'. Yes - you read that correctly. There's an old, twangy, country song, co-written by Shel Silverstein (one of my favorites!) with my name in it. You should go check it out on my myspace if you can. It's totally lame - but still makes me happy. =)

Drum roll please.......I've finally gotten past my committment phobic ways and joined a church on Sunday! WooHoo! (well...I think there are still a few committment phobic things about me...but this was a big one for me.) I'm really excited about it - and can't wait to see what God's going to do there.

I am still on the hunt for the newest apartment...and really didn't get very far with my proposed packing this weekend. Maybe over the holiday I'll really get started...

I took my break from facebook and myspace last week and it really gave me the chance to connect with people verbally. I get so used to reading blogs and facebook status' and myspace comments that I forget that there are people who I can actually talk to. All of these devices are supposed to help fill in the gaps - not be a substitute. So - I'm trying to be more intentional.

I'm also in the process of trying to plan out some vacation plans. I think I just want to take a day here or there and go visit some people. It's been a while since I've been to Bham/T-town and even longer from my favorite Nashville. Not to mention I need a trip back home soon, and of course another over to NOLA. I think they'll all wait until after I move again - except the going home...that might need to happen soon. I need a 'family fix'.

Ok - still have some more things to do before I can head home - so...hope you all have a fantastic night!

Over and out!

Arm and a Leg?

2009-01-09T16:47:00.003-06:00

So - while in Baton Rouge last week I saw Four Christmases with some friends and it rekindled my love for the movie theater. Since living in Georgia, I haven't seen one film - and I kinda miss it. So - even though there's a pile of things to do - I would really like to see a movie.

But not for $9.25!

And not even for $7.00!!!!

Who are they kidding? I need both my arms and my legs!

Thankfull there's a cheap movie theater here - and the movies aren't that old. I guess I'll just have to wait a few weeks to see Bride Wars. I can afford a $1.00 or $2.50.

geez.

WooHoo!!! It's Friday!!!!

2009-01-09T15:41:00.002-06:00

6:00 can't seem to come fast enough. Work has been relatively slow lately - not that there aren't plenty of things to keep me busy. I seem to work so much more productively when I'm under pressure. This morning began with a staff meeting. I always hate those. My bosses have asked that I be more 'friendly' with my staff - and I'm not quite sure how to do that. I feel like there needs to be a separation at work. So, even though we had a staff meeting I decided I'd start us off with some cheezy ice breakers. And let me tell you - they were cheezy. But it got everyone laughing and we all learned a little bit more about each other. Thankfully the meeting part wasn't too bad. They are a wonderful group and I'd be lost without them!

I've been lazy at home all week. I've had all the good intentions of cleaning out my car, doing laundry, cleaning the kitchen, packing etc...but I've done absolutely NOTHING. So, I'm trying to make a plan for the weekend.

I need to start visiting new apartments. I detest this - you all know I am a little commitment phobic - and see what happened the last time I chose a place to live? I also have a mountain of laundry to do. Thankfully my friends were very gracious and allowed me to wash some things while at their homes - but still...there's a lot. How does that happen? I really am only 1 person - I can't imagine if I had a family full of laundry to do!

My kitchen is a disaster and so is my living room. I also need to start packing. The end of February will be here before I know it!

There's a couple of movies out that I'd love to see, but I don't know if I'll get to them this weekend.

I also signed up for the 'new member class' at the church I've been going to. You don't have to join to go - it's just an informational class. But I'm excited as this is the first time I've been home when the class was offered. It will give me the opportunity to get to know the pastor and the church more. Maybe I'll start getting plugged in - which will help me feel more 'at home' here.

I find it interesting - last year I couldn't wait to get out of Pcola and back home to bham. This year - there just wasn't enough time to do everything - and even since coming home - I miss it tremendously. Different people here have noticed and said something - not in a bad way - but in a good way - that I must love pcola, and why don't I move home, etc.

That is something I'm praying about - but - as a friend of mine recently called me out on - it's not the right time, nor do I want to leave things the way they are, which is a little awkward. So, I'm praying for God to change me - (ugh!) do you know how hard that is???? - and just praying for His direction in all of it.

I guess it's all part of that living as though today were my last day.

Good Morning!!!!

2009-01-08T11:42:00.004-06:00

Ok - so I do realize that it's almost 1:00 in the afternoon, but I'm just now really waking up. Technically I've been up and out of the bed since 7:30. Normally I could have coffee or a coke and be wakened by the mere suggestion of caffeine flowing through my veins. But, I'm trying to be better. So -I'm trying (with all the will power I have) to not drink as much coke.

It would do absolutely no good if I just replaced the coke with lovely aromatic coffee filled with sugar and creamer, (because I have yet to master the ability to drink black coffee) so, I sit with yet another bottle of water and it takes me all day to wake up.

Blech.

How sad that I really look forward to lunch or dinner so that I can drink some coke!

The first step to dealing with any problem is admitting you have one. So...I admit...I'm addicted to coke. And not the white stuff...the lovely stuff that comes in a beautiful red can, or bottle, or fountain drink...or even a shoe. It doesn't matter...I can't wait to get my hands on that stuff!!!!!!

Isn't it beautiful? And doesn't it look refreshing? Don't you just want to run to the closest store and grab one right now and chug an ice cold one?

NOOOOO. You don't. Shame on you for even thinking that way!

I have known for quite some time that I was addicted - but it wasn't until this vacation holidy that I realized I had a 'problem.' The fact that my sister had to make sure there was coke in the house, at Erin's I made to sure to have some on hand so I wouldn't be forced to drink coke's evil nemesis, pepsi, and of course Michelle's and my late night run to Wal-mart on New Year's eve consisted of a 2 liter, yes - I have a problem.

I find it quite ironic that now that I live in the birthplace of this liquid gold, I'm going to try to break the habit. I've tried this before, so I don't have a lot of faith in my ability. But, I figure if I try it just one day at a time...one choice at a time. There might even be a whole week where I go without one.

Ok - so I'm getting a little ahead of myself. Wishful thinking.

Anyway, I'm drinking water. Right now. I know - for those who know me - it's extremely shocking. (I also have discovered I have to pee more...great...just what I need) Yesterday I drank 2 whole 16oz bottles, and while I'm still nursing my first of today, I'm sure to have another before the day is over.

The real test will come over the weekend. It's sooo much easier to drink coke at home. Even though I have a lovely silver Brita water pitcher.

Anyone have any tips, or ideas? I know I can add the Crystal light stuff - and I have before. But I kinda figure I need to quit faking my way through this. I just need to do it.

Maybe I should make a goal chart...like you do with kids? Maybe stickers to start with and then a reward at the end. But what kind of reward?

So - no matter how long this actually lasts - at least it's kinda fun to blog about. =)

If you only had...

2009-01-07T16:15:00.002-06:00

a year left to live, what would you do?

That's a question posed to me last week at SEVEN22. I know that we're not promised tomorrow, but I rarely live like it. After all - even a year is so far away. Look at all that has happened just in the past year. What about in your life? I know you've had people come in and out, you've moved, changed a job, had someone pass away, someone had a baby, someone got married...our lives never stay the same.

So - if I only had a year left to live - I don't know that I'd change that much. I'd quit my job, I tell people more about Jesus, I'd spend more time with my friends and my family. But I wouldn't be living in Columbus, Ga. And the things that I spend my time on now, I probably wouldn't be wasting time on then. My friend Erin reminded me today - you can sleep when you're dead.

So - a year is pretty far off. What happens if you change it to - a month?

30 days.

2 weeks wasn't a long enough vacation - what if I only had 30 days left to live. How different would my life be? Would I even be wasting my time blogging about it, or would I be out there living it? What about the resentment I feel towards my dad, and the annoyance I feel towards my mom? What about those friendships that I've let lapse with things gone unsaid? What about my beautiful nephews and nieces? How exactly would I spend my time?

Each hour, each minute would count. Each precious laugh would be tucked away in my memory. Each tear engraved on my heart. And just how far would I be willing to go to share about Jesus?

Why can't I act that way now?

All of those ideas are worthless if we never put them into action.

How did I get to a point in my life where I'm just making it from one day to the next? There really is something more out there - and it's more than just attending a church each week. There's family and friends, and lost people.

A friend of mine has been doing some studying and believes that the 7 years of tribulation, or Jesus' return, or whatever order you believe it to happen, will happen in 2012. That's the end of the Mayan calendar and coincidentally then end of Obama's 4 year presidency. I'm not sure if I believe him. I haven't really studied the info myself. I've always felt that it does me no good to try to figure it out. #1 - I'd never really be able to and #2 - what would I do with that info? Would it change me?

Think about it....30 days to live.

What would you change?

Blasts from the Past

2009-01-07T14:04:00.007-06:00

Finally - the ability to post a couple of pictures from 2 1/2 years ago! WooHoo! Isn't technology amazing?

This was a really big clock.

Michelle and our friend Cayla came to visit me for the day a couple years ago...I thought I'd lost all these crazy pictures too! We went to eat lunch and saw these flamingo glasses - Cayla LOVES flamingos.

And remember my little 3-5 year old class? Here's one picture I have of my cute kids - there's my favorite triplets! Wow...and this picture was probably 5 years ago!

A while after Katrina I went back to Slidell and NOLA to survey the damage. My heart is close to this building...sadly this last time I was there I noticed a For Sale sign on the building. How sad that this piece of history could be sold and it's memory will fade into the background. I also heard that the Orpheum couldn't be re-opened as well.

This is a pic from GetReal - one of the first things I ever did with NSC - a Corn Maze. I bet you're not surprised to hear that my group was so lost that they had to send the Corn Cops in after us...we were the last group out. Good times.

Here's Adam and Andrea (way before there was Aashini) and Andrew who will soon be a daddy himself.

Here's me and Cayla and several other fantastic youts (sic).

Good times...that's all I have time to post for now.

Narrowing the Focus

2009-01-06T17:03:00.002-06:00

It's humid, rainy and gloomy here. But all that's about to change. It's going to get wonderfully cold tonight!!!!!! I'm so excited. I had really hoped it would be at least 'cool' while I was home - but it was in the 70's and 80's most days. Now I'll be able to use all my lovely scarves and things. =)

Work today was ok. I got some news that I wasn't thrilled with, but, I'm taking it in stride and trying to figure out exactly what God's plan is. What He wants me to do with this new information.

My vacation from facebook and myspace is proving more difficult. Curiosity is about to kill this cat! Hahaha - all the more reason for the break.

I'm in the process at looking at apartments, again. Blech! Definitely not up for that quite yet. Next will come the packing process. Oh yay. =) Any volunteers for the move?

Spent a relatively quiet night last night. It's amazing what you can get done when you really put your mind to it. I still have so much to do after having been gone for 2 weeks. There's laundry and vacuuming and general cleaning, etc. I have no idea how moms and wives do it. There's just one of me (well...and the squirrels) and I can't seem to get it all done.

There are a lot of things I'm praying for. I have friends that are sick, hurt, in new relationships, starting new ministries, continuing ministries and so much more. But mostly I'm just praying to see God move. Years ago we did one of the Henry Blackaby studies while I was in BCM and I'm often reminded of his idea that we should look for where God is working and join Him. I signed up for the info class at the church I've been going to this Sunday. Every other time they've had it I've been out of town.

What about you? What is it that God is teaching, showing, giving you? What is it that is burdening your heart? What is driving you to get out of bed each morning?

I recently found some of those 'stones' that God has allowed me to put up. I thought I'd lost these 'stones', but they were thankfully able to be recovered. It was a reminder of how far God has brought me, and a challenge as to how far He still needs me to go. I have been so blessed, I have no idea why God has me here, but I can't wait to see the end result.

Right now my friends are working on setting up for SEVEN22. Pray for them. For that ministry. I know God still has a lot to do with them.

Back to life....back to reality....

2009-01-05T17:41:00.003-06:00

What an amazing vacation I had! There really aren't enough words to describe it all, but it was absolutely amazing. 2364 miles later....

Katie came home to Columbus with me for a couple of days and we had a great time. Much, much better than her trip to Bham. She even cooked me a fabulous dinner of pigs in a blanket. =)

I spent several days in Pcola, catching up with old friends, becoming better friends with some and making a few brand new friends in the process.

Christmas was wonderful. We must have played Monopoly 4 times! There were a lot of laughs and a lot of tears from laughing so hard. I'm so thankful that we were able to spend so much time together. I miss them already!

I also spent a few days in Louisiana. =) My friend Michelle now lives in BR and it was so nice to be able to just hang out with her. We became close after I moved from NOLA to Pcola several years ago, and then she moved to Chicago. She's one of those amazing friends that you can go forever without seeing and then it's as if you had never been apart at all. I'm just blessed by her friendship. To see how much she has grown in the Lord, and how she challenges me, that makes me smile.

This past Sunday I went to Northshore. It was like I was 'home' again. I'm so excited for the things God is doing in their midst. They've finally just closed on a new building!!! When I was in school, we were meeting in an old gym that we rented. It was a great space, but we needed more space to do more ministry. So, the church bought/leased a section of the old outlets there. I can't even tell you how many countless hours went in to make that space a church home. And it was beautiful. Not the space itself, although it was cute - but the love in it. The church really was more than just the building. Katrina destroyed the building and ever since the church has been meeting in other churches, a fireworks place, and now a work-out gym. I'm so excited for their present and their future. God is surely doing a mighty work in them!

I saw a couple of my precious little girls that I used to teach in the 3-5 year old class. They're certainly not 3-5 now! Beautiful, sweet girls.

When I travel I like to have a general plan, but I rarely put things in stone. That way I can be a lot more flexible. The only problem is, if you don't schedule everything, you tend to miss out - that being said, I definitely missed out on seeing some amazing friends. But hopefully I'll be back to visit both places soon enough!

I discovered while traveling that I'm just a 'tad' addicted to facebook and myspace. So...coming home I've decided to take a little break. It'll be crazy not to be able to keep up with everyone, but I know that it'll be a good thing.

It also gives me the chance to some other things accomplished.

I'm amazed by the fact that no matter where I seem to go, I always find some amazing, godly, encouraging friends. God has certainly scattered them around the world, but I just feel blessed having seen a few lately. It's wonderful to see them and see what God is doing in their lives - to see how they're not just talking the talk - but they really are walking out their faith on a daily basis. It's evident in what they say, what they do, their priorities and even in their mistakes.

God has shown me so much over these past few weeks. He's pointed out some pruning that needs to happen, He's encouraged me, He's challenged me, and He's just loved on me. It really was a wonderful vacation.

I'll post some pics as soon as I get them.

2008-12-22T12:05:00.001-06:00

This will be short and quick. It's been a crazy long, sleep-deprived weekend. Go check out my myspace pics or my facebook pics and you can see the transformation. Eventually I might get some of the real 'before' pics.

Love ya's!

It's Christmas-Time!!!!!!

2008-12-19T12:53:00.009-06:00

I had to go to Wal-mart the other night. Blech! That's how I feel about Wal-mart. And to top it off, with money tight, it's even more BLECH!

I needed to get some small gifts for my staff as well as some odds and ends - shampoo, etc.

THREE HOURS LATER...

Yes, three hours later I finally made my way home. Bah humbug. That's how I felt. This feeling of 'who cares about Christmas' and 'I don't want to even think about Christmas' came over me. I felt convicted. I mean, come on...if Christians aren't excited about Christmas - how can anyone else be?

I stayed up way too late trying to get some things done - without getting much of anything done.

And then it happened.

When I got out of the shower, I began to giggle. Nothing major, just giggles. I thought to myself...hmm...today could be interesting.

I got to work and made security turn on the Christmas music. What's the week before Christmas without Christmas music???? And I giggled more. And I sang. And I ran a couple of errands and came back in time to giggle some more.

Our Christmas lunch was yesterday - nothing too special - although it was nice not to be in the office. I really do work with some great peeps. We laughed. We were silly. We ate. Good times.

The unseasonably warm temps make it a little difficult to remember that it's almost Christmas, but I walked around last night and took some pics of Broadway.

The Theatre at night. Note the lovely snowflakes over the box office....let's take a closer look....

Aren't you glad we took a closer look? Doesn't this scene just scream CHRISTMAS???!!!!!

The fountain that was commissioned for the median, directly in front of the theatre. Isn't it a lovely piece of artwork? Columbus is known as the 'fountain city'. Although I think it's funny that when Desoto (I think) found Pcola, he was looking for the 'fountain of youth'.

This is such a pretty gazebo. Notice that the picture is leaning slightly to the right? Yeah - I noticed it too - for some reason most of pictures turned out that way. This was one of the ones that were least turned.

One of the ways we conserve money around here is by having Volunteer ushers. We did the same thing at the Saenger. It takes up a lot of time, and you have to want to be here. That being said...most of our volunteers are retired. Or should be retired. Or should have tracking devices on them. (Yes - we did 'lose' a volunteer b/c she didn't remember where she was or what she was supposed to be doing.)

We have some really wonderful volunteers. The ones that go out of their way to help and encourage everyone. Their only payment is being able to see the shows they work and a picnic (that they cook for) at the end of the summer, and the Volunteer Christmas party. The information I'd received previous led me to believe that our volunteers might just have some wild sides.

I was mistaken...

They drank, they ate, they got their presents and then they left. A handful stuck around to dance a little bit - but most everyone left.

At this point in my week, I am just itching to get going. It's 3:00 and all I'm doing is updating my blog. There are 500 other things I'd rather be doing or places I'd rather be. Hopefully I'll be able to get on the road soon. =)

I'm headed to pcola to help with the hmo, and to pick up Katie. It turns out we're going to try this again...She came to visit me a year and a half ago in Bham. I didn't take into consideration the fact that she was 12. The fact that her mom had just had minor surgery (but to a pre-teen, every thing is major). The fact that she'd be gone from home for 6 days. The fact that she was turning into a woman. The fact that craziness at work might interrupt my fun-time with her....etc...etc...etc... There were a lot of extenuating circumstances. I did let her stand on stage right and watch John Mayer. But somehow that wasn't enough. She started feeling sick, and wanting to go home. But I just couldn't take her home.

Until one day. I lost it. I lost it with her. I lost it with work. I lost it with myself. The power was out at work...seems we hadn't paid the power bill). No one was answering their phones as to who to contact in that type of situation, Katie was wining...and so I told her to get her stuff.

We went back to the apartment, I told her to grab her other stuff - and to get into the car. And I drove her home. Yep - three and a half hours later, I dropped her off at my sister's house, and I turned around and drove back to work.

It was a long night - but I know it was the right thing to do. She wasn't having fun - and I think it would have been a lot worse.

So...we're going to try this again. She's used to spending the night with me all the time - that is, up until I moved to Bham. So it's not that she doesn't like me. (I think.) Since that summer she's been on several out of town trips with band, and she spends the night at her friends houses all the time. We've decided to try this again. I'll pick her up Sunday afternoon and hopefully we'll make it back in time to go see Calloway Gardens.

There's nothing going on here at work, so I should be able to 'duck' out for a long lunch....and some site-seeing, etc. Then, we close for good at 3:00 on Tuesday. I figure 2 nights can't be that bad...guess we'll see. hahaha.

I'll try to post some reveal pics as soon as I can. I know you're all dying to hear about it.

The Weekend is over...

2008-12-14T22:09:00.000-06:00

It's been a really good weekend. I got to sleep in yesterday which was much needed. The show last night was great. It was almost sold out which is rare around here - and it was certainly a late night.

Our CFO was settling the show so I went upstairs to hang out and catch up with her. She is great to talk with and our conversations can be quite deep. We talked for 4 hours last night! We didn't leave until 2am. That's way past my bedtime. She's just recently begun going to a Messianic Jewish church and there are a lot of things she's been learning which caused a lot of questions for me. But it was great! I love being challenged like that. After I get back from Christmas break, I'm planning on going with her and her family.

Today was even better. I was so exhausted that I didn't get up for church, but instead I decided to just spend some one on one time with Jesus. I didn't do anything else! It's been a very long time since I just spent a day resting and spending time with Jesus. It was quite beautiful and refreshing.

I'm starting to work on planning my break! I'm sooo excited. I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am. I'm planning on going home this Friday night, and then I have to come back for a couple of days. Then I'm going back home on Tuesday night - hopefully in time for 722, and spend a few days with the family and catching up with some friends. New Year's eve I'm heading over to BR to spend it with Michelle. How great is it that we'll get to spend more than an hour or even a few hours together! It's been forever. Some friends from Nashville and Pcola are planning on coming into NO for a day - so that will be fun taking them around....I believe a visit to Camelia Grille is in order. =)

This week is pretty low key. I should be able to get everything caught up and organized before the break. We have our volunteer party Tuesday night and Thursday is our staff luncheon. It's bound to be a great week and there's lots of fun to be had.

Tomorrow is the day...

2008-12-11T20:22:00.002-06:00

when I'm going to get caught up on everything I have let slip away this week. I should have been doing that, but instead I was talking to way too many people - mostly those that live in the south Louisiana area with their snow. =)

It's so fun to see pictures and hear how much fun they all had today. Kids being pulled out of school so they could play in the snow. Snowmen big and little. Isn't this what winter is supposed to be like? It reminds me of how much fun I had last year when it snowed in Bham.

I'm wondering if it'll snow here. They say there's a possibility it will snow tonight - but I'm pretty sure I'll be sleeping through it.

Who knows...guess we'll see.

The symphony went fine tonight, and I'm actually going to be able to get out of here a little earlier than expected. hooray!

Please, please pray for the HMO in Pcola. Things are moving along, but they've had a lot of set-backs and I'm sure they're getting a little discouraged. Satan has certainly been working against them, but what he didn't know or realize is that God is still sovereign. They are pushing through and next weekend will be the big reveal - and when it's all said and done - they'll be able to say - look what God did.

That's always a good feeling. When you can pinpoint the outcome to God's hand - and look back and see how he crafted each and every part of it. That's how our lives are - each and every part is crafted - yes there are roadblocks - but God is still sovereign in our lives as well. I know I tend to compartmentalize God every now and then - and He has to get my attention and remind me that He set the stars in their place. He created my inmost being. He was born on this earth to a virgin, and lived and worked and cried and died - and then most importantly rose again. He is my beginning and will be my end. How comforting and encouraging and challenging is it to be reminded of that - especially with the world seeming to fall apart around us.

Look for the small things - like snow in New Orleans. Like beautiful music. Like brand new babies being born. He's in all of it.

Let it Snow, Let it Snow

2008-12-11T09:48:00.005-06:00

This morning is seriously a 'blah' morning. It rained all day and night yesterday, and this morning the ground is flooded everywhere you look. The leaves have multiplied and are everywhere, despite having been cleaned up this past weekend. I stayed up really late finishing mom's financial stuff - and I have to say - for the past 3 days I've done nothing but look at numbers - so much so that I dreamed about them last night.

We have a symphony tonight and I'm sure it's going to be crazy busy. I'm so looking forward to the holiday break! What will I do without work for a week and a half? haha.

Did you know that it apparently snowed in New Orleans today? How crazy is that? I love it! We keep hearing all this talk about 'global warming' and yet we have some of the coldest winters. I really think it's all a bunch of hooey and the 'scientists' really don't know what it is. You could make a case for both - global warming and global cooling.

Talked to my sister last night - she's really in pain. She couldn't really make the words to tell me what happened - but it doesn't seem like it went the way it was supposed to. I hate that for her - she has so much else going on in her life, I'd really like for at least the physical pain to be relieved.

Next week we have our volunteer Christmas party, and our staff luncheon. From what I've heard, the volunteer party gets pretty wild. haha. Should be interesting to say the least. Oh - and here are some pics from Thanksgiving -

Yes - that's my grandmother. She doesn't look sick at all, does she?

Katie looks so thrilled, doesn't she? I swear sometimes I think she's my own kid instead of my sisters.

Ironic?

2008-12-10T16:31:00.002-06:00

How ironic is it that this morning after a rough night with the squirrels, I awoke to a severe thunderstorm - complete with flooding? Hahaha. It just makes me laugh. God really does have a sense of humor.

I heard sad news today - the home-makeover that a lot of my friends are working on has had to be post-poned a week. There are just so many things still to be done, and with the change in the weather, I know that has set them back a few days as well. Here's the 'before' video. It really is just amazing.

Please remember to pray for them as they get so close to the end and try to get everything finished.

Some days at work I really rack my brain. I'm just shocked at the questions I get. Not only from patrons - and those are pretty good by themselves - but from my staff. Like today I was asked if we could exchange tickets for a show?????? Umm....yes....that's what the 'exchange' code is for, and that's what we've been doing since August. Do you ever feel like your on stage, with the spotlight right on you and the mic just isn't on? Yeah - that's the kind of feeling I had today. I just am not sure how to react.

My sister had surgery on her hand again this morning. She seems to be doing ok - but apparently there's a 'story' involved...isn't there always? I told her she's a lot more fun to talk to when she's hopped on on pain killers. =)

Love seems to be in the air. I 'caught' one of our tech guys walking down the sidewalk, holding hands and swinging their arms with his new 'girl'. They've been on 3 dates - he's not sure if it'll last...but they still looked sweet together. Babies are being born at home - the Larsons have brought baby Tori home, and Tara and Brad are now expecting!!! Yay! Some of my friends are newlyweds, some are just beginning relationships - it's almost like it was spring - but it's not - it's winter!!! Although today certainly didn't feel like it.

I'm looking forward to tonight. I've got a bit of cleaning to do, and then make some dinner and get my mom's stuff finished up tonight and hopefully make it to bed at a decent hour. At least, that's my hope. =)

Sweet days to everyone!

My Lightbulb

2008-12-09T21:27:00.003-06:00

Every blue moon or so I get a thought that actually makes sense.

We were talking in Sunday school several weeks ago about God's promises. Since I'm still relatively new I don't really talk a lot (I know....shocker!) but the question kept tugging at me. The question was posed - what has God promised us, and the answers that you would expect - a hope and a future, Christ, eternal salvation, etc....but it seemed as though God was seriously working on me.

I went home that day and did some work around the house and tried not to think about it, which only made me think about it more.

Life got a little crazy after that. Squirrels, bugs, stoves, traveling, etc all seemed to happen - but this question about God's promises kept coming back to me.

Then this morning I was reading about Noah. Most often I take from the story, Noah's obedience, patience and God's provision, his plan for our lives, the reality of what sin can do to the world - but this time I seemed to narrow in on the promise.

"Never again will I curse the ground because of man, even though every
inclination of his heart is evil from childhood. And never again will I destroy
all the living creatures, as I have done. As long as the earth endures, seedtime
and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never
cease."

Most often when we think about God's promise here, we just think about the promise of never flooding the earth again. But that's not all that He said. God didn't say there would never be another flood - just not one that would destroy the whole earthy. He didn't say there would never be death. He didn't say there would never be difficult times, punishment, trials, consequences, etc. Those are going to come. And we (as Christians) might look like complete idiots during them, just like Noah did.

But the promise in the end - really is that God has it all worked out. We really do need to just be patient, obedient and remind ourselves to turn away from sin every day. There is evil in all of our hearts - and yes, it started in childhood - but we don't have to give in to that. Noah didn't, among many other saints.

Ok - so there's my random lightbulb for the day. I didn't exactly learn anything new - I just saw a different way to look at it and apply it.

Hooray!!!

2008-12-08T17:38:00.002-06:00

Winterfest is now over! Yay! And so is the crazy week. I really did work over 65 hours last week. No wonder I had to bring my laundry to work yesterday. (Except, I grabbed the Downy instead of the All, oops! Thank goodness for wonderful people to work with.)

Now that Winterfest is over I can finally start to catch up on some major projects before the holiday. The Symphony and my numbers don't seem to match, so I need to go through and find out what the discrepancies are...fun times. :) I am also in the process of doing a new manifest for all three theatres. They've changed some things over the years and have kind of just 'made do' but it really isn't professional. We've also been questioned about our ADA accessibility and I have a feeling that we're not quite up to code so I'm trying to figure that out as well. Add to that the fact that our seats are different sizes, to accomodate different people, and I'll be going around with a measuring tape soon. =) Why we don't have the original plans, I have no idea. Hopefully I'll be able to get all this done and put into place relatively quickly.

I also have to sit down and go through these financial things for my mom. The woman who did her estate sale really has no idea how to document things and it's just a big mess. My eyes are already going cross-eyed from it.

Tomorrow we have another Broadway show and Thursday is the Symphony. Saturday is a comedy show and we will probably be relatively busy all week again. Thank goodness next week is as normal as it gets. :) And then - it's off for the holidays! We don't come back to work until the 5th of 2009!!!!

Can you believe that 2009 is just around the corner? Doesn't it feel like it's still 1992? Oh to be a teen again. Yep - those were the good ol' days. =)

I do have to say that aside from a couple people here at work, most everyone I work with is absolutely wonderful. They will bend over backwards for you and are probably some of the most 'real' people I've ever known. They're all a little crazy, but you kinda have to be to work in this business.

Squirrels should be leaving my house tonight. Perhaps that'll be all of them and I can get a good night's sleep. Between work and that house - it's been a little nutty.

My sister goes in for another surgery this week on her hand. Hopefully she'll make a quick recovery and be up and running soon. I can't imagine the constant pain she's been living through. It looks like I'll have some work cut out for me when I do go home though. Between a couple of projects at her house to some at my grandmothers, I think my schedule is already filling up. But it's going to be wonderful to catch up with friends too! Can't leave that out.

Music and Mayhem

2008-12-06T20:59:00.010-06:00

My oldest niece, Katie was recommended for Troy University's Middle School Honor Band. On Thursday she and several other students from her school traveled to Troy University. she had to audition for band and chair placement. I'm sooo proud of her. She made it into the Gold band, which is the top band and 8 out of 10 chairs. (There were 35 flutes in all and over 300 students in attendance!!!!!) On Friday she met with her other band members and their guest conductor for the first time. They were given 4 pieces of brand new music and they rehearsed most of Friday. They were also able to hear some other bands perform and basically spent the 3 days immersed in music.

Today was the performance of the 3 bands. I didn't think I was going to be able to make it b/c originally they were supposed to perform at 2:00 - and being as that is really 3:00 my time - with WinterFest, I just wasn't going to be able to make it. But then - I discovered that they were actually performing at 11:00! Since our schedule got re-arranged, I would actually be able to make it.

So - as exhausted as I was - this morning I got up early and drove the 2 hours down to Troy, Alabama. Along the way, this is what I saw:

I saw lots of what used to be beautiful homes that were falling apart, but the one above really made me do a double-take. An old, dilapidated house, sitting high up on a hill. With the sky overcast like it was, it definitely looked like this house might be haunted....who knows?

And then I found this....you know I just couldn't resist. And yes - even though they lost today, I decided to post it. They played a good game - and thankfully I'm not one of those fairweather fans.And then there was this poor tree. I don't think it was intentionally cut down as it's in the very front of someone's yard - and very far from the house. It just looks so sad.

But my the best site of all was getting to see my favorite, oldest niece. (Even if it was only for a couple of hours.) =) She doesn't generally like taking pictures - she tends to run away from the camera - but I at least got these out of her.

She was definitely surprised. I'm not sure whether or not she was glad I was there - but I'm glad I got to go listen and support her. I love that kid.

Winterfest is kicking our butts. This whole working 60 hours thing bites. I'm bringing my laundry to work tomorrow b/c I haven't had enough time at home to do it! Do you know that my boss actually said that it's ok that I work 60 hours this week, since I get a whole week off for Christmas???? Do you know that everyone in the building gets the exact same amount of time - as well as being able to take some extra time for having worked over this week. Sheesh. I didn't exactly see her here all week. Oh well - everyone has good and bad things about their job. That's just mine. Or maybe it's the thorn in my side?

Oh - and as I was drifting off to sleep last night, I had the Cosby Show on. I love that show. Even now. I still laugh out loud. And there's nothing crude, or inappropriate about it. My how times have changed. Anyway - as I was drifting off to sleep - the through crossed my mind... Did you ever notice that the Cosby Show wasn't about the Cosby's - but the Huckstables?

Yep - I'm a little bit extra random these days. Oh - and for those who have been asking for a pic - here's the best that I can do with one arm, driving down the road -

Thursday/Smursday

2008-12-04T17:06:00.002-06:00

The week is dragging on and I am already feeling the effects of it. We have successfully made it through 2 Broadway shows. YAY! Tomorrow begins the chaos of Winterfest. Our catering staff has already begun cooking in preparatation - and thankfully - I get to taste test! Yummy!

Making some decisions about the crazy squirrel infested home....if only I can survive through February!!!!! (I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.....)

Last night I was able to catch up with my friend Michelle. It's been quite a while since we'd been able to have a good, long convo so it was perfect. She's one of those friends who we can go for months without talking, but as soon as we're together it's like we've never been apart! I'm making plans to spend New Years with her in Baton Rouge. Hopefully I'll get to make the rounds while I'm in LA, and visit all those other amazing people I know.

Christmas break can't come soon enough. We've decided not to buy presents this year - although I'm trying to think of some great small things that I can pick up. It'll be nice to hang out with the family for a couple of days. I'm hoping to get the kids all together for some pictures. It's been almost 2 years since I took any of them - and they've all grown like crazy!

Random event tonight - while waiting for people to buy tickets, and wasting some time writing this blog and surfing myspace, facebook, etc....a fireworks display began outside on the river. We couldn't quite see it well enough from the windows so we went into the lobby - absolutely beautiful! We have no idea why someone had them - but we enjoyed them. Too bad we weren't closer to the river. :)

Thanksgivng Recap

2008-11-29T16:05:00.003-06:00

I am back from my little 'break' and already fully immersed in the hustle and bustle of life again. I didn't really plan on keeping my visit a secret, but since most of my close friends don't read my blog all that often, it ended up being that way.

I had the full intent on staying at my sister's house. It's always crowded, and can be a little dramatic at times. There's 6 of them, plus a dog and 2 cats. And one bathroom. (Did I mention, there's only 1 bathroom???) But, we usually try to plug through and make it work. Especially when we're all there together.

As I started on my journey home, my friend and old roommate Erin called and so we chatted for a while. It seems she didn't know I was planning on coming home for Thanksgiving, and so I took the opportunity to turn my visit into a surprise for her. I did tell her I was coming home, but her first thought was that I would come home on Wednesday - which would mean I would miss seeing her as she usually heads to PC. She offered for me to stay in her house (my old house) especially since no one would be there, and I jumped at the offer. It's always a relief, and just makes the visit more leisurely.

Anyway, I ended up in the out of service range and we ended our call - all with Erin thinking I'm not coming until the next day. I got to chat with a couple of other fabulous friends, began making plans for Christmas/New Years, and finally rolled into town. I headed straight for 722 - as it's been forever since the last time I was able to attend. Can I just tell you how much I miss that ministry? Both as a recipient and as a contributer.

I got there a little late, so I just stayed by the sound booth, and after it was over - I found Erin. Imagine my shock as she called me a 'liar'! Haha - it was a good surprise. Erin went to get some furniture moved and I hung out and was able to catch up with some friends. It's so great to hear what God's doing in other peoples lives. Even the little things.

I eventually headed to the house and Erin and I stayed up for a while chatting, catching up some more. She has the two craziest - but adorable dogs. Jackson who was the bain of my existence when he was a puppy, and now Chloe - who doesn't let me sleep in. :) I have no idea why there are no pics of these two crazy animals.

Wednesday was full of catching up with old friends/co-workers. I went down to my old theatre to check out the progress. They'll be re-opening in February and it's going to be absolutely beautiful! Makes me homesick. I sat and talked with my old boss about all the ins and outs of getting her up and running again. Good times. I really do hate that I'm going to miss out on that. He joked about hearing from all sorts of 'old employees' wanting to come 'home'. That's exactly what it is - it's home. It was one of the first stages I ever performed on, and definitely the one that I'm fondest of.

I was able to catch up with my friend Crystal - she works for the Symphony and was really great to work with. I definitely have missed getting to talk with her and keep up with all that was going on in her life.

Wednesday evening was a little different. 722 is working on a Home Makeover. The idea was formed last year and they were able to makeover a family's home. This year they've continued - and the preparations and renovations have already begun. The home was damaged by fire and made unliveable. This is really a community-wide project. Businesses have been donating products, installation, time, etc. A radio station has donated air-time, and lots of ordinary people are donating their time and energy. Anyway, several people met over at the house and worked on some more demolition. We pulled down the ceiling and all the insulation, worked on smoothing the walls we could, breaking up some concrete (I got to sling a sledgehammer!!) and we actually had some fun doing it - there was some singing and sillyness to be had by all. (Minus the whole itchy insulation feeling).

I stopped by my sister's house - and it's always fun - especially when Claire gets so excited. I walked into the kitchen and claire just started shouting - Aunt Jenny's here! One of my nephews walked in and was trying to talk to my sister and Claire kept pointing to me, and saying - "Aunt Jenny's here...Aunt Jenny's here!" I drove back to Erin's and took a shower and crawled into bed...I was already starting to feel a little sore!

Thursday morning I took my time waking up and getting moving. I put the parade on and by the time I got to my sister's house everyone was up. We originally had planned to go to my grandmother's assisted living home to eat with her, and just as we were about to leave my dad called. He asked what we were doing - (he was on his way to work) and when he found out our plans - he said nana wasn't there - she was at dialysis. What?!?!?! He's the one that said to go over there....oh well. The rest of the day we just stayed at the house and ate, and laughed, and had lots of good quality time. We were up super late - so late that if we were going to go to the crazy Black Friday shopping madness, we wouldn't have gone back to sleep.

Friday I slept late and then we went over to nana's. She seems to be doing ok - with the exception of her memory - and she has sort of accepted the fact that she doesn't remember things anymore. But she still has the urge to drive her car. Thankfully her license has expired, so she'd have to take new tests to get it re-instated. :)

Then we went by my moms house. There's always some sort of drama going on - and the current drama is that she had a woman in to do an estate sale. But, she thinks the woman stole her crystal stemware. They were beautiful pieces and there was some shady business going on with that whole situation. So now my sister and I are doing some investigative work. I have to go through all the financial paperwork and figure out what was done there. My sister is supposed to be helping draft legal letters. Good times....

Then we went back to my sister's house - had a little more fun with the kiddos and then I hit the road. It was raining and late so I took my time. I even stopped once to stretch and wake-up a little more. I'm home for the next few weeks, but then I'll be back on the roadtrip journey. So much to do....so little time!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

The Giving of Thanks

2008-11-24T12:05:00.002-06:00

Rush, rush, rush! Yep - it's that time of year, and all I can do is think about all the rushing around I'm about to do. Alright...continue doing.

The office is supposed to be closed thursday and friday in view of this wonderful American traditional holiday, but I may have to be back here on Friday - which means I won't have a day off until.....sometime in the middle of December. yuck. So - here's my plan.....leave tomorrow around 4 - which will put me just in time for 722 in P-town! Yay!

Wednesday and Thursday spend with those wonderful people we call family and drive back that night.

Friday - bring movies to work - if I'm gonna have to be here - I might as well catch up on some movie and tv shows I've missed out on. :) Saturday and Sunday are the Nutcracker, Monday is regular, Tuesday and Wednesday are Nunsense, Wednesday is CSU's Jazz Band, Friday is Skaggs Family Christmas and begins our WinterFest. Saturday is Empire Brass, Irish Tenors and Winterfest, Sunday is the Ft. Benning show and Winterfest. Monday is normal, Tuesday is Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, Wednesday is normal, Thursday is the Symphony, Friday is normal and Saturday is Ricky Smiley and Friends.

Sunday - is the official DAY OF REST!!!! And Monday - we get back up and do it all again. :)

There's a week of normalcy and then we close for the Christmas Holidays!!!! HOORAY!!!!!!!!

I'm not quite sure what I'm doing - but I'm hoping to visit a few friends along the way.

Oh - and have I mentioned that we are now playing Christmas music throughout the theatre? "Have yourself a merry little Christmas...." I bet you're singing it in your head now, aren't you? =)

Updates....

2008-11-22T21:11:00.002-06:00

I'm not very good at keeping up with blogging these days. Last weekend was so much fun - and I was so exhausted by the time I got back home. whew!

This has been a pretty busy week as well and next week is Thanksgiving!!!! After that, it'll be a couple of weeks before I have another day off, so I'm trying to get everything organized. It really isn't fun trying to laundry when it's 30 degrees outside!

The wedding was absolutely precious! I almost always cry at weddings anyway - but this one was so special, and the bride and groom were just so sweet! The wedding was beautiful and the reception was fun - complete with the punch nazi. :)

I got a ticket back in September when I went to get my stuff from Birmingham, and I was pretty sure it was the car in the other lane and not me that was speeding, so I decided to fight it. I really don't see spending a couple hundred dollars plus getting points on my license.

I drove up to Podunk, Alabama. There is one small courthouse, with one courtroom. It seems they only do traffic court one Monday a month! I got there extremely early, and the room began to fill up. Who goes to court in your pajamas? Most of the people there were dressed like bums. Don't get me wrong - I dress like that when I'm around the house, or just running to the store or whatever, but when you're going to court? Sheesh.

The officer in charge happened to be the state trooper who gave me my ticket. (he didn't recognize me.) they first took care of everyone who'd had a ticket for not having their license or registration on them - but they did have it. Then it was everyone who had gotten a ticket for not having it - but has since gotten them. Then - because it was taking so long....they decided to ask for everyone who wanted to plead guilty to just get in a line - 90% of the room stood up and got in line. By now I've been there for 4 hours!!!!!!!

My state trooper starts going around the room to those of us who are awaiting 'trial' and asks about our case, etc. So I show him my ticket and he just looks at me, then back at the ticket. He asked me if I was sure I wanted a trial and I told him yes. He went up to the judge and his assistant, told them about me and my ticket - and they laughed since he had been the one to write it. He came back to me shortly after that and asked if I would be willing to just go to traffic school and then have the ticket dismissed. Sure - why not? I could leave right away, and there's no guarantee the judge would have been on my side.

I booked it back to work (within the speed limit of course) and made it just in time for our first broadway show of the season.

It's been one crazy week. I'm looking forward to hanging out with the family next week. Although it seems my family really has dwindled to my sister and her husband and four kids. My mom's not talking to either one of us and my dad has pretty much just moved on to his 'other' family. To tell you the truth - I don't miss them too much. At least - not the psychotic behavior that usually ensues. Who knows what could happen if a turkey got involved.

A Weekend Away

2008-11-14T13:50:00.002-06:00

As per usual, I am making my last few plans before I fly the coup! I'm so excited about being able to spend some quality time with some really wonderful friends. There's a busy weekend ahead, but I have no doubt that I will enjoy it.

We have a show, and I'll be leaving here just as soon as I can. It's about a 4 hour drive, so it'll be pretty late when I get into town. I'm staying with my old roommate Erin - and while she has a busy weekend ahead too, I think we'll get to play some catch-up.

Saturday morning I'm planning to go with Tennessee Terah and Crazy Amy over to Destin for breakfast. We might even be able to stop in and see Robert's new house on the way back! In the afternoon is my friends - Charity and Peter's wedding - which I could not be more excited for! And, Saturday evening we're hopefully going to one of my favorite restaurants.

Sunday will be filled with church, a nap if I can, and hopefully I will be able to catch up with some other friends.

Monday I'll be heading back to C-town, but have to make a little detour to Tallapoosa County where I have a court date to protest my speeding ticket. Then, I will make it back in town for our first Broadway show.

I have a feeling there will be many stories and a few pictures after this weekend.

I just can't wait!

2008-11-05T17:43:00.002-06:00

This has been a historic year and presidential election, and it's not quite over yet. I thought 2004 was the year that I would grow and learn and go through the most in my life, and that once I got passed all of that...it was going to be easy.

But this year hasn't been easy. And I can't believe it's almost over. And maybe, I'm a little ashamed to say - I can't wait for it to really be over.

As Christians we're supposed to be happy and cheerful and give the load to Christ to bear, and walk around as if nothing were wrong. I wrote a few posts ago how 'unhappy' I was with my job. An anonymous person posted that I wouldn't be 'happy' with anything until I was 'happy' with myself, and that I was missing something in my life. I deleted the comment, not because of what they said, but because they didn't have the confidence to own it - and attach their name to it.

The fact that I'm not happy with my job hasn't changed. But, I also know that we aren't guaranteed 'happiness'. Something is missing in my life - stability. Life as I have always known it really is crumbling around me -

2008 -

Sister on workman's comp - salary decreased to 1/3
Me - Fired from great job
Turned 30
Lost Apartment - packed everything up into storage
Moved in with friends
Found 'a' job
Moved again into a different friends house
Grandmother got deathly ill
Really, really dislike new job
Interview at new job - means moving
Pray, A LOT
Take new job
Help move grandmother into assisted living facility
Nephew runs away from home
Pack car up and move to new town
Start new job
Go back and forth several weekends to help family
Dad's business is finally going bankrupt
Nephew comes back home
Diagnosed with a disease - no cure, nothing major, but it will affect me the rest of my life - and my family - some sad realizations from that.
Dad is ignoring all the bad in his life - making things harder on everyone else
Mom almost burns house down when mad at dad
Go get everything out of storage - start to unpack
Move grandmother to another assisted living facility
Sister not healthy yet - but released from WC - all money ceases.
Help pay sister's bills
Feel bad that I can't help more
Mom and dad start to sell their belongings to help pay debt and get ready for possible divorce.
Mom says no divorce - whatever
Find out there's a DUI on my record that's not mine.

This is not a pity me post - this is a reality check. This has been one insane year. Along with all of these bad things - there have been wonderful things - and I'm very thankful for those. And I'm very thankful that I haven't been committed to an insane assylum yet. And I'm very thankful that I know I don't have to be 'happy' through it all. I have prayed through all of these things, I have trusted God with them, and I've allowed myself to be human through it.

My life changed completely in less than 8 months. There is nothing that's the same as it was 8 months ago. Yes, I have the same car - but a lot more miles on it. So - it's not really the same.

What hasn't sent me completely packing is the knowledge that God is exactly the same as He was on the morning of February 25th.

2004 was a year in which I never want to repeat - but I learned so much. And, had I not gone through all of that year - I have no doubt I would not have survived this far in 2008. I never want to repeat 2008 - but I'm pretty sure it will help prepare me for the future. That probably doesn't bode well for me in the future - what will 2012 bring? :)

I say all of this to bring into perspective the fighting and bickering over politics. Our country has not become what our founding fathers hoped and prepared us for, but nonetheless, it is OUR country. I am not thrilled with the outcome of the presidential election. I have no idea how our government will handle the crises that face our nation, but I know that at the end of the day - in the beginning of the day, in 2012 - God will still be God.

2008 will soon be behind us - and future is wide open. There are no guarantees, there are no absolutes, no one can predict what will happen. We will still wake up, we will still work, we will still worship God - and maybe, just maybe, He will become more REAL to us.

Church Visiting

2008-10-27T19:27:00.002-05:00

I've been visiting churches in the area on the weekends that I've been home. Surprisingly - this is less than I had hoped.

I'm still intrigued by the church that had the extremely large attendance on a Sunday night. Or at least what I call 'large attendance'. A few weeks ago, I decided to face my fears and try out a Sunday school class.

I did some research online and found they had several - some during the later hour. So, I drug myself out of bed early...ugh...and thoroughly enjoyed myself during worship. We got out a little late - but I figured that wasn't such a bad thing - everyone else would be late too. I headed for the information desk and inquired about a Sunday school class. (or Bible Fellowship Group) They suggested one for oler singles (umm....I'm only 30) and it meets in the annex. Here's how our conversation went.

"Do you know such and such?"

"No, I'm new to the area."

"Oh, well, the class meets in the annex."

"Where's that?"

"Through those doors."

"Ok...so just walk through those doors, will there be signs?"

"Well, not really through those doors...it's in the strip mall."

"The strip mall?"

"Do you know where Alfa Insurance is?"

"No...like I said, I'm new and not very familiar."

"Well...it's right up the next block. You should see it - there's a Brewsters in the parking lot."

"Oh...ok." (not knowing one iota of what or where she was talking about.)

I proceded to leave and get in my car and drive up the hill a bit. I came to the Wal-mart and kinda figured she didn't mean Wal-mart. So, I turned around - and that's when I saw the sign for Brewsters. I drove into the parking lot - and looked around - and I saw the sign for the BFG's. There was a little man driving around a golf cart like you'd see at Disney World - I have since learned that he shuttles people back and forth. (Why couldn't the nice lady tell me that?)

By the time I was about to get out of my car - it was already 10:40.....class had started 10 minutes ago. There was no way that I'd walk into a class - one that I'm not even sure I'd be in the right place, where I didn't know a soul, and at that LATE!

So...I chickened out and went home and took a nap. I figured I'd fellowship with Jesus instead.

Last week I was at home, so I was bound and determined to find a class. I called the church and was directed to the pastor's wife. She gave me the run down - and suggested I try a couple of other classes - the one I was directed to had more older people, and most were divorced.

The class I decided to try was during the early hour - when I woke up - I had this fear that it was the time change weekend, and I had slept through it! Yikes! But thankfully I hadn't. I was the first one there - also a little awkward - but the people I met were very nice. It has a good arrangment of ages - some younger - some older. They're going through the book - "Chasing Daylight" and not at all surprising to me - the scripture applied directly to me. (How does God ALWAYS seem to do that?) After that, I sat with some of the girls during worship - and then they invited me out to lunch.

They were all very sweet - and it seems that they are genuine. That is something I have severely missed lately. I think I'll visit for a while. At least the next few weeks I'm in town.

I don't mind moving to a new town - figuring out where things are - packing and unpacking boxes - getting used to new sounds in the house - etc. But what I do mind is having to find a new church. But - God always leads me to where I'm supposed to be. I would much rather an instantaneous discovery - but - there's always something for me to learn in the process.

Oh - and can I just say that I met a guy who reminds me of another guy I knew years ago? Quirky in some of the same ways. Now that's funny.

Billboards and unhappiness

2008-10-25T15:18:00.004-05:00

I'm finally admitting it today - I'm unhappy with my job. I'm not sure if it's ticketing in general, or just whom I work for - but I'm not happy. And this thoroughly disturbs me. I enjoyed working in P-town, and I even enjoyed working B-ham - even though it wasn't quite the most wholesome, spiritual environment - I still enjoyed it - and the people. They needed (need) Jesus - but still - they were real.

I'm not quite sure what bothers me most here - and not really sure how to handle it, or what to do instead. At least it is 'A' job. If only could find that winning lottery ticket.

On a completely different soapbox - on my travels to and from P-town last week - I saw a billboard that disturbed me - even more than my present employment.

It was a jewelry store advertisement - and the caption read 'Monogomy to the 100th power'

Seriously? Are you saying that men have to purchase a woman's monogomy with jewelry? What an insult to women! And, if memory serves me correctly - at least in the case of my parents - men usually purchased expensive jewelry for their wives after having made some sort of indiscretion.

Does anyone else have any other idea as to what that billboard could have meant? Yikes!

The early 90's are back

2008-10-20T14:37:00.002-05:00

Yes - you read that correctly. The early 90's are back - at least in the form of my current hair style. Even though I thoroughly despise humidity, I tend to live only in those places which have an abundance of it. Humidity itself isn't so bad...it makes for great snapping weather! But what it does is completely flatten my hair. With the air conditioning out at my house - I didn't even have a chance for it to look half-way decent. It just wouldn't do anything, so I resulted in throwing it up in a bun, which only makes me look as if I were bald, since my hair is so thin.

So - my mind has been reeling....thinking of ideas....do I cut it, do I try a different type of style, do I go back to highlighting it which costs a fortune? What about a perm? EEEKKKK!!! Visions of 1991 flashed through my mind with my hair permed like a poodle. I'll have to post some pictures soon. I know I have some. Deep, deep, deep in the pit of memory land.

My sister talked me into getting a 'body wave'. Not really a perm....but sort of. It's supposed to give me the foundation for whatever I do to style it, to stay - instead of falling flat. But I'm still a little apprehensive. I tend to have traumatic reactions to major or even minor changes to my hair. After pricing.....I finally decided to have the woman who 'fixed' my hair as a kid. Granted - I never like how she 'styled' my hair, but she wouldn't screw it up either.

So I sat in the chair - exhausted (which is another post altogether) and took a little nap as she poked and prodded at my head.

The end result - a sort of perm. She asked if I wanted to dry it - which I did - but, I didn't expect (or want) her to style it - but before I knew it - she had! Yikes!

The good news - I didn't cry when I saw it - I didn't like the style - but I can work with that on my own in the coming weeks. The bad news - my 3 year old niece saw me and said I needed to brush my hair. Nice....real nice.

I still can't believe I have a perm again.

Short and Sweet

2008-10-15T13:35:00.002-05:00

Hopefully this will be short and sweet. I have 5 million things to do - but as I can't seem to focus on any one of them - I figure it couldn't hurt to waste some time and update the 3 people who read my blog.

* The squirrels in my attic seem to be gone. Hopefully they'll get up in there and close it up and then I will be squirrel free.

* I still seem to be killing 'critters' as they crawl in through the doors - even though we've had it sprayed. If you know me - you might understand the complete convulsions I go through when I see something sharing my house with me. Yeah...not a happy camper.

* My driver's license record is clear! WooHoo!!!!

*I'm traveling home this weekend to help my sister with a garage sale and to bring back my grandmother's Queen Ann couch. I have no idea where I'm going to put that thing.

* Did you know that a body wave/perm runs anywhere between $70-$95???? I think I'll just buy a box and some rollers and do it myself.

* I had the box office cleaned last week. We pulled all the equipment out from under the cabinets and desks to give the office a good 'fall cleaning'. What we discovered was a health hazard breeding in our customized, wool carpets. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, there was mold in my box office carpet. I've spent the last week pleading with people to get it out of the office so my staff won't continue to breathe it in. Yesterday, at 5:00, I was informed that yes - first thing this morning - they would be taking up the carpet. I needed to pull everything up off the floor. (yay) I was here until after 11:00 - and at this point, we have realized that we might have a major problem on our hands. So - my new office happens to be in the little hallway where we hang up coats during shows. It's quaint. :) I have a feeling things are about to get interesting around here. At least more so than they already are.

* The air conditioning was replaced in my house yesterday!!! WooHoo! Although now, I can't get the windows to go back down. :( But - my electric bill was only $57.00 - so that's pretty good. :)

* I discovered that my oven doesn't work. The stove does - and I didn't have any pans until recently so I never even checked to see. Ah....yes, I love being an adult. Will someone else please handle this?

* My lovely friend Tennessee Terah and her friend, (now my friend) Crazy Amy came to visit me this past weekend. I call her Tennessee Terah only because she calls me Alabama Jen from when I used to live in Alabama. For some reason, she can't seem to call my Georgia Jen. Anyway - the two of them came down and we had a wonderful little visit. I had to work a show, and they came to see it (which by the way was an amazing spectacle of talent! I'm so jealous of them and their abilities!) We ventured down the street to a pub - that I was not very happy with - and just allay your fears - don't worry, I didn't partake of the imbibery that occurred. We had a most pleasant visit and I was sorry to see them go.

There's so many other little crazy things going on - I still need to share about church and the family and all the regular fun things I've been thinking about lately.

Until then....

You Wouldn't Believe It

2008-10-03T15:53:00.003-05:00

I definitely need to share all that is happening with my family - but it will wait for another day. :) Although - it would probably make what I'm about to write about, that much more funny.

For those of you who don't really "know me"...you might not understand what I mean when I say, "Things 'HAPPEN' to me." If you know my friends Jay and Bronie, you know that natural disasters 'HAPPEN' to them. Well - the weirdest things happen to me. And you probably don't know another person in the world that it could happen to.

Things like...

Catching the stove on fire while housesitting - by accident.
Having a hit and run car accident, in the rain, on Christmas Eve, on the way to my sister's house.
Having my piccolo stolen by a moron in school who ended up going to jail b/c he was 18 and it was grand theft.
Not being told to bring an overnight bag in addition to the regular bag that was going in the trailer on a 2 day trip from Arkansas to West Virginia.

I could really go on and on...but I'll spare you and just share the current - "Jennifer's Believe It Or Not"

I decided to try to be a good citizen and follow the rules and changed my insurance from Florida to Georgia on September 1st. You have 30 days to change your driver license and registration or Florida will suspend your license.

Well...in Georgia you need a birth certificate...even if you already have a driver license. My mom swears she's given me all my birth certificates (I have like 6)...and so I only have a copy - not an original. Since I was born overseas...it takes longer to get a Certified copy. (I think pretty soon, I might just be certifiable - I wonder if that will work?)

So yesterday, I called Georgia to see if I could do anything...they said no - but you should call Florida and ask them...so you don't have your license suspended. (Umm..yesterday was 32 days....I'm already a little late.)

I called Florida and they suggested calling my insurance company to see they could switch me back until I could change everything over at once. I then called the insurance company and they said that would be fine.

Now please realize - I've explained my whole story about 4 times by now. And then it hits me - when I talked to the Florida DMV - I didn't ask if my license was already suspended...(do you hear the forshadowing music???) So I called back to Florida. Thankfully, I spoke to the same person I had previously so I didn't have to repeat my story....very much.

She informed me that since I was on the phone and she couldn't verify it was me she was speaking to - the only thing she could do would be to look up my driver license on the public website. (aww, how nice, they're trying to protect my privacy!)

She asks me my number and I rattle it off. I've had it memorized since I was a senior in high school. She informs me that my license is suspended, but not for lack of insurance, but for...are you ready for this................................................no really........are you sure you're ready for this one...................I hope you're sitting down.................you haven't eaten recently, have you................................................................................................................................................................................................................................oh yes.......my license is suspended for a DUI.

WWWWHHHHHAAAAAATTTTTTT??????????????????????????

Please understand........the possibility of this is NON-EXISTENT!

I don't drink.
I don't drink.
I DON'T DRINK.
I DO NOT DRINK
THERE IS NO WAY THAT'S ME
I DO NOT DRINK

Ok....I think you get my point. So, I think - maybe I flip-flopped some numbers - so I pulled out my wallet and read her my license number again. The same thing occurred. I asked her for the website myself....I typed my own number in - with numbers - without numbers - it didn't matter. There is was in black and white. License suspended due to DUI on April 20th.

Ok - reason #7 why it couldn't possibly be true - on April 20th I didn't have a job - in fact, it had been almost 2 months without a job - and while I might have been driven to drink (pun intended) - there's no way I had enough money to drive down to Walton County, Florida to be a drunk driver.

Can you imagine me trying to explain this to the DMV woman? I'm sure she just sat there, nodding her head, saying 'sure you don't drink'. She gave me the number of someone to call in Tallahassee - saying she couldn't help me.

I call T-town and of course the number is busy. I must have called it for an hour. In the meantime, I went to our Director of Security - he used to work on the police force here, so I knew he might be able to help. He called one of his friends to run my license number in the Georgia system to see if it showed up here. Thankfully - it doesn't. But - that doesn't mean it won't make it into the system at some time.

I finally get through to Tallahassee and tell my story from the beginning...you know...the insurance part...b/c it doesn't make sense if you leave that part of the story out. They smile and nod and say they can't help me - I need to contact the county it happened in. So I call them - tell them the story and the girl was rude - she told me that it wasn't her job to help and I needed traffic.

Good Grief!

I finally tell this story to traffic and she was very helpful. She looked up my information in the computer....and are you ready for this?

There's a Jennifer LYNN Johnson, with my date of birth, and with my identical driver license number - except for the last digit.

Are you kidding me????

I've had run ins with other Jennifer L. Johnson's - but not like this before. Once there was a mix-up at the gynecologists office when I was in high school....that wasn't pretty!

But this is serious. This could mean I could get thrown in jail! And what if I'd been stopped this past weekend?? I wouldn't have known anything about it!

I ask her what needs to be done to fix this. She said they would need to contact the DMV and let them know of the mistake. She said she would give the info to her supervisor and she would call me today.

So...I waited patiently today to hear. If you call biting all my nails off and pulling out what little hair I have left being patient.

Finally I called around 12:30 and was told she was out to lunch - could I call back in about half an hour........

Thankfully - she called me back. She said they'd already sent an email with a copy of the ticket stating that the ticket had been attached to both me (Jennifer LUCILLE Johnson) and her (Jennifer LYNN Johnson). the requested it to be removed from my record.

The supervisor was very nice - she said unfortunately, she has seen this before - but not with so many things in common - name, dob, and driver license #. She said it could take anywhere from 10 days - 2 weeks to clear up.

Are you kidding me? I'm supposed to go home in 2 weeks....what if something happens while I'm there? What if it gets put in the national system by then? She was very helpful and emailed me a copy of the email they had sent to request everything to be removed, including a copy of the ticket. I'm sure you can imagine that I won't be leaving home without that for a very long time....

Then I realized this could affect my insurance and call them back. By now I've had to tell my story about 10-12 times. I'm a little over it. they were nice - said it was a good thing I had told them about this or I could perhaps be getting some not very kind letters in the mail....eek!

All this to say....only me....this stuff only happens to me. :)

We won't even go into all the other fun stuff that happened yesterday - in the middle of this.

Good Grief Charlie Brown!

And that's all I have to say about that!

Surprises...and the Inevitable

2008-09-22T20:59:00.002-05:00

I'm not sure which is the more shocking to me - the fact that one of the 9 million Walgreen's in my neighborhood was jammin' out to The Black Crowes today - or the fact that the church I visited last night looked to have more people attending their Sunday night service, than most churches these days has attending their morning service.

Yeah - I think it's hands down - the church attendance.

I'm very intrigued in a church who has such a large attendance on a Sunday evening - when there was nothing particularly 'special' about the service. I hope to discover more about them.

I will most definitely be going home this weekend. The plans are to begin packing her house Friday. Saturday, my dad's friend is taking my grandmother to breakfast and then to dialysis. In the time she's gone - my sister and I will pack up her current 'assisted living' facility and transfer her things to a new place. Then we'll go back to her house and continue packing boxes. If I need to - I can stay through Monday - but I certainly hope I don't have to. I guess it'll all depend on how far we can get. Thankfully, I still have most of my boxes and totes. I still need to empty some more so I can take them with me.

There's a long week between here and Pcola. So much to do before I go. But, I am extremely excited to see my family - and hopefully a few friends. There's a lot to look forward to. :)

Family

2008-09-20T10:28:00.004-05:00

I talked with my sister for a while last night. We actually talk pretty regularly - almost every day. This conversation was a rather grave one. You may remember that about 3 months ago we placed my grandmother in an assisted living facility. This was a long over due transition, one that my father had long been avoiding.

My grandmother adjusted about as well as could be expected, and it's been a comfort to know that if something happened - there was someone nearby to provide assistance.

My dad's sister and brother have been 'unavailable' to help with this. It's extremely expensive and stressful making decisions for someone else.

Our conversation centered on the fact that the facility has deemed it necessary for my grandmother to move to the next level of care. This requires her family (us) to move her into a new building (the alzheimer's building) where she will receive more of a 'nursing home' level care. It also means the price more than doubles. Unfortunately my dad has avoided dealing with my grandmothers house and possessions. Partly I feel, b/c he doesn't want to be blamed for having gotten rid of something my aunt or uncle wanted. (Yes...I realize that since they're not helping - they don't really get a say - but this is family we're talking about).

Anyway, my sister has finally planned on sitting my dad down on Monday morning to nail down the details of getting a moving company to come pack up all her belongings, and then we can work on cleaning the house and getting it ready to be put on the market.

There are different programs that will help financially - but only if all my grandmothers assets are depleted. While she owns a house - they won't even touch her.

My dad is also dealing with the actual closing of his business. The business he has owned for 20+ years. It really is sad. All of these things have finally compounded and none of them can be avoided any longer.

I'll be traveling home next weekend to help - but unfortunately - I'm not sure when else I will be able to go home to help. Hopefully, we'll be able to make a lot of progress this weekend.

Please continue praying for my family. I know that God can use these circumstances to bring those who don't know Him to Himself - I can only pray that they start listening.

Just had to share....

2008-09-19T17:20:00.005-05:00

So, I periodically look to see how people get to my blog. Is it from someone else's page? Did they stumble upon my wisdom by chance? *cough*cough*

Well, someone has found a blog I wrote - it looks to be the one I wrote about my family - back when I was doing some research on my grandfather.

Umm...here is my blog...is another language...I think it's polish since the IP address is listed in Gryfice, Poland. I've never heard of Gryfice - and I've never read anything in polish.

Google is pretty cool - because if you hover over it a bit - it will translate into English for you.

Oh yeah - we should definitely be scared.

http://translate.google.com/translate?hl=pl&sl=en&u=http://raisemineebenezer.blogspot.com/2007/11/family.html&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dschloppe%26start%3D140%26hl%3Dpl%26lr%3D%26sa%3DN